8/13/13 – 1 On Tripp Halstead

 

Stacy: Wow, got a shock tonight. Mom and dad brought over a load of stuff from their house and we opened up one small white bag and this is what I found. (Picture) The clothes Tripp was wearing the day of the accident. You can see where they had to cut them off of him and they are still covered in dirt. Mom immediately started crying and had to walk away. I stayed calm till mom left then I let myself remember that day. By far the absolute worst day in all my 36 years. Not knowing if your one and only miracle baby is going to live or die. Thank goodness I have been able to block out a lot of that day. But the parts I do remember still haunt me Continuously. I remember seeing him before surgery and he looked so perfect. Kissing his head, his face, touching him and not knowing if it would be the last time. I remember hearing my sister down the hall screaming and my sister has always, always been the strong one, not letting her emotions take over and lose control. I remember Bill being so strong yet so utterly devastated at the same time. I remember the exact outfit I was wearing, (I came straight from work) and knowing I would always keep those clothes but never wear them again. I remember the crazy amount of people that came to the hospital and waited hours and hours with us. I remember seeing the story on the TV in the waiting room just hours after it happened and it being surreal. That is not my baby they are talking about, it can’t be. Then my memories kind of blur till that Friday. 5 days after the accident when one of the Drs came in and told us Tripp was going to die. To say our goodbyes, they were bringing in a hospital bed to replace his crib so we could hold him as the time came. I remember Bill and I locking ourselves in the bathroom and me sobbing that I want to die too, and Bill consoling me. I remember mom falling to the ground in the hallway and not understanding at the time why she was acting like that. This was MY baby dying, I was the one that was allowed to lose control, she was suppose to be strong for me. Now I realize that it was probably even worse for her, seeing her own child hurting like this and losing her only grandson at the same time. Now that I think about it, that day was worse than the day of the accident. To think he survived to then be taken away. But as we all know, that did not happen. Tripp is still here where he can spend hours in my arms, he is not the same smiley, outgoing, fun loving, always laughing boy, but he is here and that is enough for me. I love you Tripp.
Stacy: Wow, got a shock tonight. Mom and dad brought over a load of stuff from their house and we opened up one small white bag and this is what I found. (Picture) The clothes Tripp was wearing the day of the accident. You can see where they had to cut them off of him and they are still covered in dirt. Mom immediately started crying and had to walk away. I stayed calm till mom left then I let myself remember that day. By far the absolute worst day in all my 36 years. Not knowing if your one and only miracle baby is going to live or die. Thank goodness I have been able to block out a lot of that day. But the parts I do remember still haunt me Continuously. I remember seeing him before surgery and he looked so perfect. Kissing his head, his face, touching him and not knowing if it would be the last time. I remember hearing my sister down the hall screaming and my sister has always, always been the strong one, not letting her emotions take over and lose control. I remember Bill being so strong yet so utterly devastated at the same time. I remember the exact outfit I was wearing, (I came straight from work) and knowing I would always keep those clothes but never wear them again. I remember the crazy amount of people that came to the hospital and waited hours and hours with us. I remember seeing the story on the TV in the waiting room just hours after it happened and it being surreal. That is not my baby they are talking about, it can't be. Then my memories kind of blur till that Friday. 5 days after the accident when one of the Drs came in and told us Tripp was going to die. To say our goodbyes, they were bringing in a hospital bed to replace his crib so we could hold him as the time came. I remember Bill and I locking ourselves in the bathroom and me sobbing that I want to die too, and Bill consoling me. I remember mom falling to the ground in the hallway and not understanding at the time why she was acting like that. This was MY baby dying, I was the one that was allowed to lose control, she was suppose to be strong for me. Now I realize that it was probably even worse for her, seeing her own child hurting like this and losing her only grandson at the same time. Now that I think about it, that day was worse than the day of the accident. To think he survived to then be taken away. But as we all know, that did not happen. Tripp is still here where he can spend hours in my arms, he is not the same smiley, outgoing, fun loving, always laughing boy, but he is here and that is enough for me. I love you Tripp.
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