Rhema Marvanne – Sings Gospel Songs – Plus Other Singers Too

This little girl is amazing, just listen to her and decide for yourself. The URL is https://youtu.be/VoBW57t1Mvs

There are also other singers to choose from, as this link is to x Factor.

She was there when her Mother took her last breath after fighting ovarian cancer. Rhema was only 4 at the time her Mother was going through all of the cancer treatments. She and her Father stayed right by her Mother’s side through as much of it as what the doctors would let them.

Rhema has drawn strength through the experience and is sharing it with others through her singing. She sings at the church where her Mother was a member before her death.

Rhema also sings secular songs, and does very well with whatever she sings. I will surely try to listen to her as much as I possibly can. I really do like to hear her sing.

Do Bad Things Really Come In Threes?

I have heard for many many years that bad things come in threes. Whether or not it is true is anybody’s guess. If by chance it is true, then my friends and I have seen all the bad things that are going to happen this year.

We have lost yet another beloved pet. Our first guinea pig, Katie, that we have had since December of 2010, just passed away on Saturday. The picture below is of Katie and Penny. Penny is the smaller one. She was our first breeder female. Since Katie was four or five years old when we first got her, we didn’t want to hurt her by making her have babies being so old. We got Penny when she was just a two month old baby and let her mature before we started breeding her.

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It was really hard watching her pass. We felt that we owed it to her for her to pass naturally. Within less than 12 hours from when we first noticed that she was not going to make it another 24 hours, she passed. We left her alone, so that we would not make her nervous. She passed peacefully, in that she didn’t make any coughing or heavy breathing noises when she passed. I checked on her every two hours. Apparently she passed early in the beginning of the two hours when I last checked on her, because when I found her, and she was gone, she was already cold and stiff.

I have cried in silence to grieve her passing. Since she was the last of the original first two guinea pigs, her loss is harder to take than the other ones. I am sorry that I have taken from Saturday to Tuesday to post this, but I have been missing her quite a bit, and didn’t want to cry when I posted this.

 

Notice To All Of My Readers

Notice To All Of My Readers

 

After having to go through the loss of my friend’s parents dog last month, I never thought that something like that would happen any too soon again. I was oh so wrong.

My guinea pig, Alisha is now resting in peace. Here is a picture of me holding Alisha, my furry baby, and of her getting ready to give me kisses. I loved her so dearly. My friend had listened with a stethoscope and had heard at least three if not four baby’s heartbeats. I was so excited that we were going to have babies again. This was to be the last time. We never let any of our guinea pigs have more than three litters and this was her third litter.

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Wednesday, February 3rd, she seemed to be going into labor to have her babies. When I woke up Wednesday morning, there was every indication that she was in labor and had already had one still born baby. There was a lot of blood covered bedding in the cage. I was a little sad not to see a live baby, but not too concerned because I didn’t know how long it had been since she had had the still born baby.

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She was just staying in the corner being very quiet. I tried to pet her, but all she would do was shiver all over. I left her alone to see if she would finish having the babies. After about three or four hours I went to check on her and see how many babies she had had. To my dismay, she had not had any more babies, but was still bleeding. I thought that she was still having babies, but apparently they were all being still born. It was a very sad time not to see any live babies.

On Thursday, February 4th, when I first looked in on her, she was just the same as I had left her the night before. I also noticed that she had not eaten anything and had not had any water either. I had put a piece of tape on the line where the water was to check on her water intake.

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Throughout the day I continued to check on her and to pet her. Being scared that she was not going to make it, I had my friend to take some pictures of me holding her, for what could possibly be the last time. They are below.

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A few hours later I went back to check on her, but still no more babies. Not knowing anything else to do, I covered her cage up and left her alone for the night hoping to see babies in the morning.

But, that was not to happen. Much to my dismay, in the morning, Friday, February 5th, there still were no live babies to be seen. But Alisha was still very big, so I knew that there were still babies to be born.  But she was sitting in the corner differently from what she had been the day before. Now she was pressing her head up against the side of the cage and breathing very quickly. The carrot that I had given her the night before was dried up and still beside her. Obviously she still was not eating or drinking.

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My friends and I started trying to force water into her by using a small syringe and giving her a few drops at the time. We were hoping that after doing that, she would have the babies. So once again, we left her alone for three or four hours at the time, in between trying to give her water. At around 7:00 PM I went to check on her, and to hold her and hug her just for a little while. I had my friend to listen to her and to see if he could hear the babies’ heart beats. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hear any and could barely hear her heart beat. He thought that she had a collapsed lung. When I picked her up, she had an accident on me.

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I was a little alarmed, but thought that maybe she was getting ready to have her now dead babies. That, she had been in labor too long and the babies had all died. So once again, I went out and left her alone for an hour. My thoughts were that if she had the dead babies, just maybe, then she could rebound and be OK. At least that was what I was hoping.

At 8:00 PM I went back to check on her and her babies. There were no babies, and she was not breathing either. I had my friend to listen again, and he confirmed my worst fears. Alisha had died. She had died from the exhaustion of trying to have her babies. She had apparently been pushing so hard to have them that her lung collapsed and she just could not rebound from that stress. At least she is no longer suffering from her ordeal. I will miss her dearly.

All day Saturday (yesterday), February 6, I was just sort of in shock. I had been counting on watching the last babies grow up and go to loving homes. That was not to happen. Instead, I had to say “Good-Bye” forever to Alisha, my furry baby.

I am sorry that I have been unable to do my blogs during this time, but to me, my furry baby was more important. I loved her so much. I watched her grow up from the day she was born, and I bought her from my friends, when she was old enough to be taken away from her mother. It had been a wonderful time with her, and I certainly was not ready to let her go. I know that at least she will not suffer anymore.

I hope that this is the end of anybody that I know losing a pet to an untimely death. They are having a really bad effect on me lately, and I am sort of befuddled to understand as to why.

More On Depression

I Googled: what percent of people have had severe depression? It is not a sin or a crime to be depressed. At some time or another, chances are that every person over the age of 18 has had at least one bout of depression. The Google inquiry provided the following information, and I copied one of the replies below.

Depression

Affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. While major depressive disorder can develop at any age, the median age at onset is 32.5.

More prevalent in women than in men.

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I then went to the website of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) : www.nimh.nih.gov

There is a booklet that they have published called Depression: What You Need To Know. In the booklet there is basic information about depression such as its signs and symptoms.

About this booklet

This booklet, prepared by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), provides an overview on depression. NIMH is part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the primary Federal agency for conducting and supporting medical research.

This booklet will help you learn the following four things that everyone should know about depression:

  • Depression is a real illness.
  • Depression affects people in different ways.
  • Depression is treatable.
  • If you have depression, you are not alone.

This booklet contains information on the signs and symptoms of depression, treatment and support options, and a listing of additional resources. It is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered a guide for making medical decisions. Please review this information and discuss it with your doctor or health care provider. For more information on depression, please visit the NIMH website.

Here is the information about the booklet if you are interested in obtaining a copy for yourself, a loved one, or a friend.

Citing This Publication

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health. (2015). Depression (NIH Publication No. 15-3561). Bethesda, MD: U.S. Government Printing Office.

National Institute of Mental Health
Office of Science Policy, Planning, and Communications
Science Writing, Press, and Dissemination Branch
6001 Executive Boulevard
Room 6200, MSC 9663
Bethesda, MD 20892-9663
Phone: 301-443-4513 or 1-866-615-NIMH (6464) toll-free
TTY: 301-443-8431 or 1-866-415-8051 toll-free
FAX: 301-443-4279
E-mail: nimhinfo@nih.gov
Website: www.nimh.nih.gov

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES
NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH
NIH PUBLICATION NO. 15-3561

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The information that I gave above was to provide you with professional advice. I am not a professional trained in anything having to do with depression or the human body. Any information that I give, except for when I say that I copied it from somewhere, is information from personal experience or from witnessing the behavior of someone going through whatever it is that they are going through. This goes for depression, having a broken bone, being in an automobile accident, or having cancer. All of those are things that I have either had myself or witnessed someone close to me going through one or more of them.  What I am about to relay to you is from my own experiences from the age of nine when my six month old baby sister died. She had a birth defect that the doctors didn’t even know that she had until they did the autopsy after she died.

At the time, I had never even heard the word depression. I just knew that I missed my baby sister, and I prayed to God for Him to take me and bring back my baby sister. I thought that my Mother and Step-Father needed her more than they needed me. This was because I thought that I had killed her. Earlier in the day, after she had died, I had overheard some neighborhood women talking about babies dying. They said that they had just read about a baby that had died because the brothers and sisters had suffocated it by putting too much baby powder on the baby. I had two brothers and one sister at that time. We all loved our half-sister. However, we were not allowed to hold her or pick her up, or do anything other than look at her. A few days before she died, I had to sneak to even put baby powder on her, just to see her smile. She loved having baby oil or baby powder put on her. So when I heard the neighborhood ladies saying what they were saying, I thought it was my fault that she had died. All I could do was cry and pray for God to take me. I was miserable. A few months later, I tried to go to God myself. If He wouldn’t take me, I would just have to go to Him by myself and try to convince Him to take me and to send my baby sister back. Obviously I was going through a bout of major and severe depression. I wasn’t crazy, nor was I contagious to anybody. I was having a hard time dealing with the death of my baby sister, and my thinking that it was my fault. I never told anyone what I had done, until many many years later. And yes, even for a little girl, it was a daily struggle. I became very withdrawn almost immediately after hearing those ladies talking. About the only things that I would do were go to school, go to Church and come home. I didn’t even want to play.

It wasn’t until my half-brother was born about a year later that I snapped out of it. He was born with a birth defect that the doctors diagnosed when he was just a few weeks old. He was in and out of the hospital a lot. He was born with a defective immune system, and had to have gamma-globulin shots every week until he was five years old. At first the doctors would tell my Mamma that they didn’t even know if he could live to be six months old. They would tell her “Let’s get him to six months old first, then we’ll talk about the future and what it may hold.” My Mother couldn’t handle it very well. When my baby brother would wake up in the middle of the night, my Mamma would come and get me up to hold him until he went back to sleep. The doctors would always tell my Mamma and my Step-Father to let them get my baby brother to the next six month milestone. This went on until he was five years old. By the time he was five years old, his immune system had seemingly healed itself, and the doctors told my parents that they thought that my brother would be fine, and be able to live a long healthy life.

What I am trying to show is that depression can hit anyone at any age, but it is possible to get through it. Once I had my brother to concentrate on, I forgot about being so unhappy and wanting God to take me and send my baby sister back. And I had a lot of friends helping me too. After the family moved away from where the baby had died, we all seemed to do a whole lot better. Having the new baby helped all of us, except for my Mamma. She was so scared that my baby brother was going to die also, that she was sort of scared to get close to him. She took care of him, she just wouldn’t let herself get as attached as she should. For the longest time, my little brother thought that I was his Mommy. And I loved it. I was old enough to babysit, so I did a lot of stuff with him and his little friends in the neighborhood. I would get all of his friends and bring them to my house and have like a pre-school and teach them their alphabet and their numbers. All of the little children (all under five years old) loved it, and I looked forward to it every time I did it. All of their parents loved it. I was a free babysitter for that hour or two whenever I had them at my house.

I know I got off on a tangent, but I thought it was necessary to show that depression is an illness and is not contagious, just a bad day or a phase that someone is going through. The person with it isn’t crazy, and no they can’t just pull their self up by their bootstraps. By no odd chance is it their identity. It is a daily struggle, they will get through it, and other people, especially their friends need to be patient and supportive of the person with the depression. I know it from experience.

 

 

When Grief Takes Over

To My Readers,                                                                                                                              I am sorry that I have not posted anything since I wrote the blog last week titled Dealing With Loss And Grief. Little did I know what I would have to deal with myself. I honestly thought that I would be able to handle what had happened and still be able to function. Of course I knew that there would be times when I would be overly sad and even cry about it. What I did not realize was that it would hit me so hard.

The sudden death of a family pet is always hard to handle. When a pet is sick and the family knows that there is no way for the pet to get well, they know that death is going to be coming. They have time to try to prepare for the inevitable. Don’t get me wrong, knowing that the death is inevitable does not eliminate the empty feeling and the feeling of loss. However, when the death is unexpected and due to the pet being hit and killed by a vehicle, the loss seems so much worse.

When my friend’s parent’s dog met this fate last week, while my friend was keeping the dog, I experienced this in a way very unfamiliar to me. I don’t know if it is because of my age or what, but last week I lost almost all sense of time and days. I thought that I had only missed a couple or three days of posting. I was absolutely shocked when I looked at the website and found out that I had not posted anything since the initial post about the accident and how to deal with the grief. The post was meant to help others that may be going through it. I never thought that I would be posting it for myself, but I now realize that that is exactly what has happened.

Please accept my apology for that happening, but I could not help it. Hopefully I am over the initial shock and can get back to my obligations. I am certainly counting on that being the case. There will still be times that I will feel sad, but I will do my best not to let it take over me like it did last week. I will get back to a schedule tomorrow. I didn’t want this post to appear further down and be missed.

Dealing With Loss And Grief

One thing is for certain,  if you live long enough,everybody at some time or another will have to deal with the loss of a loved one or the loss of a cherished pet. Grief is necessary, but it hurts worse than anything. This is especially true when the loss happens unexpectedly.

My friends and I are dealing with the grief of losing a pet right now. We experienced this very thing just yesterday. Please go to the following link to read the article about it. http://www.disabledgeek.com/in-loving-memory-of-maddie/

There are many stages of grief that one goes through, this includes the loss of a person or of animals such as dogs, cats, birds, guinea pigs, etc. My friends have their own dog besides the one that they were taking care of. See the picture below of their dog.2016-01-13 12.27.47

Notice the chew bone below Gabe’s mouth. This bone was the last thing Maddie touched. She was chewing on it before she went out, bolted while she was being walked, and was hit by a vehicle and killed. Gabe does not chew the bone, he just carries it around and puts it under his chin as if he is protecting it. He is grieving too. He has lost his friend Maddie.

The following is a link to a website about the stages of the grief of a pet:

http://www.pet-loss-matters.com/stages-of-grief.html

Here is a sample of what outsiders may say to you about grieving due to the loss of a pet:

In the depths of their despair when they are exhibiting the natural reactions to the    stages of grief, they find themselves being told to ‘get over it’ or that it was ‘just a     dog/cat/bird, etc’.                                                                                                               

For the most part the people that are saying that, don't currently and possibly have never owned a pet that they loved dearly.

Later in the website it listed the five stages of grieving for a   pet, and pointed out that they are the same as for people. 

The five stages identified by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross are;

Stage 1 – Denial, shock and numbness

Stage 2 – Anger

Stage 3 – Bargaining

Stage 4 – Depression

Stage 5 – Acceptance

The 5 Stages of grief and dying were originally identified to define the stages of Human loss, but it has long been acknowledged that the grief stages experienced when a person suffers the death of a pet and pet loss are identical to those of human loss.

There was another author that also listed a set of the stages of   grief on this website. However, only four stages for grief were    listed and the stages are very similar to the first set of stages. The second list of stages is copied below.

J Bowlby and C Murray Parkes, key workers in the field of human bereavement, also identified four phases representing the reactions of people grieving following the death of a loved one.

The phases they identified are;

Phase 1 – Numbness

Phase 2 – Yearning

Phase 3 – Disorganisation and Despair

Phase 4 – Reorganised Behaviour

Just like the first person stated, these stages are ones that we go through for people and pets likewise. These workers can categorize them all that they want to, but grieving is grieving.

Everybody handles grief in their own way. As it is with almost everything else, no two people are the same and as such do not handle things the same. The stages of grief are the same for everybody, just that they handle the stages of grief in different ways.

When I realized that I was going to have to put my service dog to rest after having her for 15 years, I couldn’t take her. As long as she was eating, drinking water, and eating her treats, I couldn’t even think about taking her to put her to her final rest. I was in denial that she was dying. Two days before I took her, she stopped eating her food, but she was still drinking water and eating her treats. I just gave her more treats to make up for her food loss. The day before I had to take her she stopped doing even that. I waited for 24 hours hoping that her condition would have a turn around. When she didn’t turn around, I knew that I had to take her and could not deny any longer that it was time. I called for a ride to take her to the vet, and cried the whole way there. I was holding her head and apologizing for not being able to make her better when she took her last breath. Then the vet declared that she was resting in peace. The vet just let me stay there and cry for as long as I needed to.

As soon as I left, the person that owned the pet cemetery came and picked her up and put her to her final resting place. I had been going through the denial stage up until she stopped eating and drinking anything for a 24 hour period. I know it may seem strange, but for someone who lives alone to lose their only companion, I was devastated. I was angry that she had had to be put to her final rest. I ended up in the mental ward for 10 days to try to get over her death. I was bargaining as to what I could do to feel better.  On my next to the last day, a group that trains service dogs brought two of them in to visit all of the patients. I had been so depressed up until that day. One of them came straight to me. Just seeing and petting her helped me tremendously. Once again I had hope in my heart for the future and for obtaining another service dog. I finally accepted what had happened to, my service dog, my baby. I was ready to go home to an empty house.

So, in essence I had gone through all of the stages of grief in the 10 days that I was in the mental ward of the hospital. But, even though I had gone through all of the stages in that 10 days, I would find that it was possible to go through them more than once. What I am trying to point out is that we have to do whatever it takes to get through the grief, even if it means going through the stages more than once.

It was January 10, 2015 when I had to let her Rest In Peace. That was 6 years ago. To this day, I still get emotional when I think about my sweet baby. Just last night my friends started going through the loss of a dog. The dog belonged to one of their parents. So I am going through it again. Only this time it is for a dog that belonged to someone else, but that I loved dearly. And yes, even though I am going through it with a different dog, I am still having memories of my service dog. But I have accepted that my dog is in Heaven, and I am not going to be as upset about her passing as when it first happened.  What I am trying to point out here is that even though I am still thinking about my service dog that has passed, and I am once again in the acceptance stage of the grief, it is for a different dog.

Other people may take longer than what I took to get through the stages. We just all need to be patient with any and all of our friends that are going through the grief of their dearly beloved family members, friends and/or their beloved pets. There is no set time limit on how long it can take. It takes however long that it takes. It’s that simple.