Reflecting On Thoughts As A Child Growing Up

There are some days that just look around me and and rather disturbingly remember thoughts that I had as I was growing up. These are thoughts that I had both as a child from six years old to around twelve years old and as an adolescent from thirteen years old to about nineteen years old.

I can vaguely remember looking at people and thinking different things about them, with part of my thoughts arising from what I had heard grown-ups saying. These thoughts included such things as thinking wrongly about people that were either dirty or very sloppily dressed. Their clothes would be dirty and in disrepair in addition to being either too big or too small for the person wearing them. I always thought that they should be ashamed of them self for wearing such bad looking clothes outside. After all, that was what my Mother and Grandmother would say to us if we put on something ripped, too big for us, or too small for us. Since our clothes were put in a really tall hamper every night, there was no way to put on dirty clothes.

Besides clothes, I also had thoughts about being skinny and/or being fat. Here again, “little pictures have big ears”. even if children don’t say what they hear, they sure do think it. If a person was skinny, then “they must be poor and can’t afford very much food to eat.” And on the other hand, if a person was too fat and their stomach was sticking out, then “they just don’t care about how they look at all.” “They need to stop eating so much and start exercising. If they can’t afford to go to a gym, then they at least need to start walking some. to start out, go once or twice around the block and build it up until they are walking at least a mile a day.”

These are things most children grow up hearing quite a bit of the time. I think that the reason that the parents, grandparents, or whoever is in charge say all of these things is so that the children won’t do them and therefore will go into adulthood dressing, eating, and exercising like they should.

Unfortunately, hearing these things on a regular basis doesn’t just teach the children to grow up into the correct kind of adult, it also teaches them that it is OK to be judgemental. I say this because that is exactly what these statements are, is judgemental.

There is a specific reason for this post and that is to try to point out to some adults that may not be aware of just what kind of an influence what they say is having on their children. During my childbearing years, I was never fortunate enough to have any children of my own, so I just was able to enjoy other people’s children.

I know parents don’t purposefully intend to teach their children to be judgemental, but all parents and adults need to think a little bit harder and longer before they speak. they should ask them self, “Is what I am about to say going to be positive to and about all concerned?” This means, “Is it going to do the one hearing it any good?”, and further more “Is it going to be complementary to the person that is being talked about?”

 

I Am Finally Back – October 16, 2019

I know I have been gone for a long time, and I’m sorry. But I’m am going to try to come back slowly so as not to get over whelmed at the start.

I had decided that my main job was to crochet scarves for homeless people, as I was having a hard time accepting my declining health. Apparently trying to ignore various aches and pains was not the correct thing to do. My arms and shoulders were hurting a lot, so I just shrugged it off as my diabetic neuropathy acting up. By the time that I finally saw a doctor, he felt it was necessary to have a MRI of both shoulders. The results showed that both of my rotator cuffs needed to be surgically repaired. As I could not let myself think about surgery, I turned to the crocheting. In December of 2016, 2017, and 2018, my friend and I distributed the scarves to the homeless, around the downtown area, that we would see. Most of them cried, some of them hugged us and others did not want anything to do with us.

I finally could not wait any longer to have the surgery on my right shoulder. On April 12, 2018 I had a total right shoulder replacement. I was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital from April 17, until June 4, 2018. Then on June 4, 2018. I was transferred from the rehabilitation hospital to a nursing home/rehabilitation center. I was there until July 31, 2018. I came home on Tuesday, July 31, 2018 and home health started coming to my house, and I did the necessary paper work to qualify for Medicaid to be added to my Medicare that I have had since becoming disabled in March of 1990, and losing a permanent full time job and a permanent part-time job both on June 9, 1990. That process allowed me to have a care giver to come to my house and help me with whatever activities of daily living (ADLs) that I am unable to do by myself. I am currently waiting to have my artificial bladder replaced, and my left shoulder to be done. Hopefully the left shoulder will be just a rotator cuff repair and not a complete shoulder replacement like was done on my right shoulder.

Luckily I had already finished 40 scarves for the homeless. The last one being the day before my surgery. As I was not able to go out with my friend to pass them out, I ended up giving some to the homeless, donating some to my Church, and donating the rest to the Chrysalis House. I have not been able to do the crocheting as well as I had before due to my left shoulder giving me trouble, but I am plugging along. I hope to have at least a dozen done by December.

My goal for doing posts on this blog will start out at three per week, since I am also going to be trying to do the scarves. I only ask that you please be patient with me. I try not to talk about all of my health issues very much, but I felt that my followers had a right to know what happened for my posts to all of a sudden stopped.

Rhema Marvanne – Sings Gospel Songs – Plus Other Singers Too

This little girl is amazing, just listen to her and decide for yourself. The URL is https://youtu.be/VoBW57t1Mvs

There are also other singers to choose from, as this link is to x Factor.

She was there when her Mother took her last breath after fighting ovarian cancer. Rhema was only 4 at the time her Mother was going through all of the cancer treatments. She and her Father stayed right by her Mother’s side through as much of it as what the doctors would let them.

Rhema has drawn strength through the experience and is sharing it with others through her singing. She sings at the church where her Mother was a member before her death.

Rhema also sings secular songs, and does very well with whatever she sings. I will surely try to listen to her as much as I possibly can. I really do like to hear her sing.

A Post About Bad Choices

When you hear life is short some may say yep it is and go on doing what you do. Today I was at the location of a wreck right after it happened. I saw the truck in the ditch, I saw hero’s from fireman, EMS, police, bystanders try to help get the driver out of the truck only to realize a woman was also in the truck. He (driver)made the choice to drink and drive. She made the choice to get in the truck. The life of everyone is changed forever! His for drinking and driving. Hers because she didn’t survive. Mine because I saw her laying there knowing she was a daughter and maybe a mother or grandmother. And her life was gone in a second! To have your life taken away by a choice.. I hear people talk about all the gun laws what about ALL the driving loop holes allowing people to have multiple DWI or driving with out a license , texting or SPEEDING!! Passing with double yellow lines!! How many lives have been killed from stupid car wrecks and choice people make driving??? Shame we all can’t make citizens arrests.. drive safe my friends and watch out for the crazy drivers!!

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One of my cousins posted this on Facebook Thursday. When I read it, I really felt bad for the lady that lost her life in the accident. Immediately after feeling bad for her, I thought “Just like I have heard for many years, the drunk driver that causes the accident that kills another person doesn’t usually die in the accident, even though they may get hurt.”

Why is it that our laws are so lenient to drunk drivers? Sometimes I think that it’s because the ones that pass the laws are drinkers too. If they make the laws too stringent, then they wouldn’t be able to drink. I guess for some people being able to take that drink or those multiple drinks is more important than life itself.

I’m pretty sure that drinkers would think twice if it was a law that whenever you go to a bar or a party and drink, you have to surrender your keys upon entering the establishment, or if you are at a friend’s house, you be set to spend the night if you get drunk. I can’t imagine any friend not wanting to let their friend stay the night. They would rather have you sleep on their floor that to drive home and possibly have a wreck and kill someone. I know I sure would.

Next time before you take that drink, or let a friend take a drink, make sure someone other that the drinker will be driving, or that they can stay at whatever place where they are when they take that drink. A little bit of precaution is worth a whole lot of peace of mind that nobody is going to get hurt or even killed because someone you know had too much to drink.

After all, “FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK.”

Some “Food” For Thought

In this post I am going to write some verses and different things that I have heard, through the years, that really made me stop and think. When different things happen to me or to my friends, some of these verses come back to me and that in turn makes others, that may not be related to the original situation, come back as well. Below you will find the ones that have been running through my head lately. Maybe they will make you stop and think too.

Satan

Satan is a monster of such awful means,

That to be hated needs but be seen.

But seen too oft, with familiar face,

We first endure, and then embrace.

 

Mistakes

Learn from the mistakes of others.

You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

 

(I saw this on a cloth bag someone was carrying.)

What you think,

you become.

What you feel,

you attract,

What you imagine,

you create.

Creative Yoga

 

Now, I’m going to talk about regrets. We all have had them, and for as long as we live, from time to time, we will continue to have them. They are inevitable. We cannot avoid them. None of us is perfect. We are going to say something that we shouldn’t say, do something we shouldn’t do, go somewhere we shouldn’t go, or just the opposite we won’t speak up when we should, we won’t do something that we need to do when it needs to be done, or we won’t go someplace where we should go. And when it is all said and done, we regret whichever of those things above that we are guilty of.

Most of the time, we can make amends for whichever one we are guilty. We can apologize for saying something wrong or doing something wrong, or just the opposite., we can apologize for not doing or saying whatever it is that we were supposed to do or say.

I say most of the time, because you cannot make amends whenever the other person has passed away. It never fails, whenever we are upset with someone else, or just don’t like them for whatever reason, and we stay away from them, avoiding them like the plague so to speak, that when they pass away, we experience that pang of guilt.

That pang of guilt I talk about could very easily have happened to me. When I was growing up, I had two step-fathers. My real Father had left when my Mother was expecting her fourth child. She married my first step-father when I was 9 years old. He drank quite a bit, but never would admit that he was an alcoholic. I didn’t like to eat many things, and would get a beating when we were eating, if it was something that I didn’t like. He would also beat me whenever he got drunk. As a result, I stayed angry at my Mother for not protecting me from him. I even went so far as to say that I wouldn’t even be very upset if my Mother was to die. Well, she was diagnosed with breast cancer in January of 2000 or 2001, I can’t remember which. They did surgery and removed the cancerous lump, and apparently they got it all, because she hasn’t had any problems since then. It was at that moment when I realized that I would indeed be upset if my Mother passed away. Since then, my Mother and I have had a good relationship. Every year I went to see her and my second step-father (“Pop”), until I no longer had a car. Every time I had surgery, my Mom and “Pop” came to stay with me and help me until I was back up on my feet. I no longer have a car, and Pop passed away in 2011, but I still keep in touch with my Mom. She lives with my sister, and I call to talk to her. I got to spend two weeks with her last year when my sister and brother-in-law went on a trip, and I took care of my Mom while they were gone. I got to see the rest of the family that lives around the area too. It was a really nice trip. Now I no longer have any regrets like I would have had had I not resolved things about my Mom.

Whenever I think about regrets, I can’t help but to think about the song that Frank Sinatra wrote, and made famous when he sang it, “My Way”. It starts out the end being near and facing the final curtain. He goes on about all that he has done, and then brings up about having regrets. That little part goes;         “Regrets, I’ve had a few

                                                           But then again, too few to mention

                                                                      I did what I had to do

                                                         And saw it through without redemption”

This goes to show that even very important people can have regrets. But as he says he saw them through.

What I am trying to say or ask is, is there anybody that you are upset or angry with to the point that you won’t talk to them or go to see them? And if so is it worth it to the point that you would feel badly if they were to pass away? If you would feel badly if they were to pass away, then you need to do something about resolving whatever it is that has you so upset with them. Life is too short to spend it being upset with any family member or friend that has said or done something to upset you. Try to get back on good terms with them. If the person has medical issues where they don’t know who you are, don’t stay away for that reason, go to see them anyway. You know them and that is all that counts. You may end up visiting on a day when they do recognize you. Once they have passed away, it’s too late then to make amends. All you will have is regrets, remorse, and guilt about not going to see them or at least trying to talk to them. It may haunt you for the rest of your life. Then you will have the “If only I would have gone to see (fill in the blank)“, thoughts.

I know people who this has happened to. They don’t like a grandmother or grandfather, or great aunt or great uncle, or whoever it may be, so they won’t go see them or talk to them. Next thing you know, the person is at death’s door with only a few hours to live and they don’t know anybody, then they pass away and you didn’t even see them for that one last time. Your heart hurts, you are full of sadness, and your eyes swell up with tears. You are having regrets for not going to see them, but it is too late. Don’t let this happen to you. Just seriously think about it. Is worth it to regret it for the rest of your life, that you and whoever did not reconcile your differences? I don’t know about you, but it’s not worth it to me.

I am so glad that I had some good years with my Mom before my Pop passed away and she withdrew into herself. When she woke up and found him next to her, cold as ice and stiff as a board, she just withdrew. All she would say is “I don’t know what I’m going to do, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Pop died in his sleep from a diabetic coma.  My Mom called 911, hoping that he could be revived, but that wasn’t to be. The rescue squad said he had passed early in the night, for the amount of stiffness that he had.

My Mom has stayed with my older brother, and then my sister, back and forth, since Pop passed away. If Pop had have been my real Father, I never would have had a step-father to begin with. I loved him so much, and will miss him until the day I myself die.

Moral of the post is “Life is too short to spend it having regrets when a loved one or friend passes away, after having been estranged from them, because of an argument or misunderstanding.”

 

A Post For Thought

Saw this little poster on Facebook and thought I would expound on it some. Hope you give it some thought too. I will have to type out what the poster said because it gives me an error when I try to open it in this post.I copied it and pasted it here, but I don’t know how long it will continue to show up, that is why I am also typing it here. It makes a whole lot os sense when you really stop and think about it.

The poster is by The Mind’s Consciousness. It goes on to say:

“Imagine this: If you had $86,400 in your account and someone stole $10 from you, would you be upset and throw all of the remaining $86,390 away in hopes of getting back at the person who took your $10? Or move on and live? Right, move on and live. See, we all have 86,400 seconds each day. Don’t let someone’s negative 10 seconds ruin the remaining 86,390. Don’t sweat the small stuff, Life is bigger than that.”

It also says to type yes if you agree, but that is only effective if you are doing it in Facebook. It won’t work here, unfortunately.

Image may contain: text

When you think about it this way, it doesn’t make sense for us to let what another person says or does ruin our day. Of course that isn’t the case if the other person physically hurts you, it’s only talking about their negative actions. It’s like the little saying that most parents teach their kids growing up, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never harm me.” The words may make us feel bad, but it is only because we let them. If we just turn and walk away while shrugging the words away, then they won’t upset us.

Hope you have or have had a great day today. I’m going to try to remember this analogy of the seconds in everybody’s day and not let others negativity upset me. I know I won’t always succeed, but at least I will be better off for trying. Why don’t you try it too?

Things To Consider When Deciding On A Mate

This little picture speaks volumes. Talk about a picture being worth a thousand words, this one is it for sure. there have been many, but this is one too. I sure hope that when I meet my next soulmate, he will feel like this about me. One thing is for certain, if I can’t feel like this about him, then he won’t be my soul mate.

Because I Still Know Her

Will you still feel like this when you are old and one of you can’t remember the other one, but one of you does remember the one who doesn’t remember you.

There are many other things to consider also. The picture below points out the main ones very well. If the person that you are going with is possibly going to be the one that you will spend the rest of your life with, then these things should definitely be true.

You don’t have to tell everything about your past on the first few times of seeing each other, especially if you haven’t decided to actually consider yourself to be in a relationship of only dating each other. However, when and if you do decide that you want to be in a relationship with each other, then it will be time to start telling each other about your past. This is especially true if there is something that could make the other one not want to go with you as a couple.

One very important thing to tell each other is about your religious beliefs or lack thereof. If you are going with someone that seems so nice that you think that there is no way for them to not have a religion, you need to find out if it is true or not. As you talk to each other about religious beliefs, the important thing to be able to agree on is that you can accept what each other believes or doesn’t believe.

If by chance you were less morally  than what you are now, in that you did things that you were ashamed of doing, you need to get that out in the open as well. Let’s say that you were a porn star and then decided that that occupation was not what you wanted to do for the rest of your life. That part of your life obviously needs to be talked about. It would be bad if all of a sudden some of the pictures or videos that you made during that period in your life surfaced. What would you do? Would the discovery be enough to make you break up with each other?

If after you have told each other whatever secrets you may have had, and you are OK with them, then you need to be able to accept whatever the new occupation is. You have to be able to stand behind each other and go to bat for them. If you can’t do that for each other, then you don’t need to stay together.

If a decision is made to break up. then you both need to be able to accept it and start over with your life. Yes, it will be hard to start over. However, it is better by far to split early on, rather than to split after years of being together, because you found out something that you didn’t know early on, and for whatever reason you are unable to accept it.

As you are going through the present day living, you have to be able to plan on and support each other’s future. If by chance you don’t like what the other has chosen for their future, then you need to discuss why. In the discussion you need to consider the pros and cons of whatever it is that the other has chosen, as well as to any steps that could make the decision be a favorable one if at that time it is not favorable. For example if the one you are going with is being transferred for their job, and you don’t want to live wherever it is that the other has been transferred. You would obviously need to agree on whether or not you would move anywhere and where would be agreeable and where would not be agreeable. Let’s say the the transfer is to a northern state and you don’t like the cold. That being the case, you don’t feel like you can endure the hard cold winters. You would need to discuss whether or not a transfer can be made to a southern state where the weather is milder. If a transfer to a milder state is possible, are there any southern states where you wouldn’t want to live.

When two people are dating, many times these types of things don’t come up. Both people are just so happy with each other that the two of you think that you could be happy any place where the other goes as long as you are together. These are all very important things to be discussed early on when the relationship starts to get serious.

If you can’t accept what the other person’s occupation is going to be, then you need to break up before there is a marriage or any children. The sooner you break up, the sooner you can get on with your life. If you don’t want to break up, then you will need to get help to find out how you can accept the situation and be happy with it forever.

Marriage isn’t something to go into lightly. The vows are until death do you part, not until you can no longer get along with each other and divorce does you part.

A Good Relationship

There is nobody I know of that doesn’t want to live a happy and fulfilled life. It is imperative that you find someone that you will love for ever and be happy together. Life is too short to live it being unhappy, or being abused and mistreated.

You also need to pay attention to how your other person treats family and friends as well as strangers. If your other friend is mean or uninterested when in a group, that may be a warning sign that you may end up being alienated from your family and friends.

There are some qualities and some weaknesses that you should ask yourself if the one you are with has any of these traits.  The good traits or qualities that I am talking about are, being patient and kind, and does this person rejoice in the truth. Weaknesses are having envy for someone, being jealous of someone, being boastful or arrogant about self and accomplishments, do they insist on having their own way, are they resentful toward others, and do they rejoice at wrong doing? After you have answered these concerns about the other person, ask them about yourself. If any of the answers are troublesome either way, then discuss it with the other person about the answers for both of you. See if you can figure a way to work it out, or if there is no solution, then accept it and break up. As before, the breaking up will be hard, but it is better by far than living with someone and being married to them when they cause you to feel uneasy about anything that has to do with them.

When you are committed to another person, you need to always be willing to lift that person up and encourage them in all that they do.If there is something that they do that you cannot lift them up about and cannot be encouraging to them, then you will always be miserable and may become resentful toward them. Any ill feelings about someone else just festers and gets worse and worse as time goes on. You need to figure what has to be done to remedy the situation. It won’t be easy, but it is necessary.

If you can’t handle it by yourself, then by all means seek professional help. I am not telling you to do anything that I have not had to do myself. There are still times that I have to work on things in my own life, and it is not easy, but it is necessary.

Being Nice And Treating People Well

Recently I saw some posters that had to do with the treatment of others and living a better life. I thought that they would be good for everybody to read and think about. The pictures are below. I will expound on each one as best as I can.

The picture below is from someecards.com.

What it teaches is really sound advice. Just because you have an issue with someone, it doesn’t mean that you should mistreat them. By treating them nicely, it brightens up their day and possibly makes them think about whatever the issue is that you have with them. It will also brighten up your day because you can’t be upset when you are treating another person nicely.

Being Nice

The next poster is from Soul Quest.

Bad Treatment By Others Is The Other Person

People that go around destroying other human beings are bullies, plain and simple. They have to make other people feel bad so that they can feel good about themselves. They generally have a bad or low self esteem and can only be pumped up by putting someone else down.

As a rule, unless you know that you are questioning yourself about something, it’s better to just not pay attention to them. Though, you do need to figure out if they are trying to be mean or if they are merely trying to point out something that you could benefit from trying to change it to make it better. It is called constructive criticism and is meant to help, not to make you upset. They are just trying to help you as best they know how, and don’t mean to be offensive toward you.

Some people just don’t know how to take constructive criticism and therefore take all criticism as being bad and demeaning.

There is a lot to be said about treating people kindly. There is a very familiar saying that goes something like this, “You can catch a lot more bees with honey than you can with salt.” The moral is to try to always be nice.

I, myself need to do a lot of work in this area. Very often I get impatient with people that I think can do better than what they do. This probably comes from being reprimanded, from a young age, so much whenever I made mistakes. I feel like everybody should have been taught from an early age also. In my way of thinking a child of nine years old is old enough to be taught how to keep things clean in their room and to be able to wash dishes and get the food off of them. Children need to learn from around ten or eleven how to do laundry, how to press clothes, and how to fold up their clothes so that they don’t always look like they slept in them.

Of course, if there is a reason for the person not being able to do these things, that’s different. But when it is from sheer laziness, I get upset, thinking that they should want to do better. Why would anybody be content with supposedly clean dishes having food on them and clean clothes looking like they have been slept in? If you are going to go to the trouble to wash the dishes, why not do it correctly? The same thing applies to doing laundry. If you are going to go to the trouble of washing and drying your clothes, why wouldn’t you want them to look nice and neat when you wear them?

There is also another saying that states that doing good starts in your own backyard. I am just going to have to accept that not everybody cares about the same things that I care about and therefore I need to keep my opinions to myself.

My blog posts are as much for me as they are for my readers. They are a good review for me.