Things To Consider When Deciding On A Mate

This little picture speaks volumes. Talk about a picture being worth a thousand words, this one is it for sure. there have been many, but this is one too. I sure hope that when I meet my next soulmate, he will feel like this about me. One thing is for certain, if I can’t feel like this about him, then he won’t be my soul mate.

Because I Still Know Her

Will you still feel like this when you are old and one of you can’t remember the other one, but one of you does remember the one who doesn’t remember you.

There are many other things to consider also. The picture below points out the main ones very well. If the person that you are going with is possibly going to be the one that you will spend the rest of your life with, then these things should definitely be true.

You don’t have to tell everything about your past on the first few times of seeing each other, especially if you haven’t decided to actually consider yourself to be in a relationship of only dating each other. However, when and if you do decide that you want to be in a relationship with each other, then it will be time to start telling each other about your past. This is especially true if there is something that could make the other one not want to go with you as a couple.

One very important thing to tell each other is about your religious beliefs or lack thereof. If you are going with someone that seems so nice that you think that there is no way for them to not have a religion, you need to find out if it is true or not. As you talk to each other about religious beliefs, the important thing to be able to agree on is that you can accept what each other believes or doesn’t believe.

If by chance you were less morally  than what you are now, in that you did things that you were ashamed of doing, you need to get that out in the open as well. Let’s say that you were a porn star and then decided that that occupation was not what you wanted to do for the rest of your life. That part of your life obviously needs to be talked about. It would be bad if all of a sudden some of the pictures or videos that you made during that period in your life surfaced. What would you do? Would the discovery be enough to make you break up with each other?

If after you have told each other whatever secrets you may have had, and you are OK with them, then you need to be able to accept whatever the new occupation is. You have to be able to stand behind each other and go to bat for them. If you can’t do that for each other, then you don’t need to stay together.

If a decision is made to break up. then you both need to be able to accept it and start over with your life. Yes, it will be hard to start over. However, it is better by far to split early on, rather than to split after years of being together, because you found out something that you didn’t know early on, and for whatever reason you are unable to accept it.

As you are going through the present day living, you have to be able to plan on and support each other’s future. If by chance you don’t like what the other has chosen for their future, then you need to discuss why. In the discussion you need to consider the pros and cons of whatever it is that the other has chosen, as well as to any steps that could make the decision be a favorable one if at that time it is not favorable. For example if the one you are going with is being transferred for their job, and you don’t want to live wherever it is that the other has been transferred. You would obviously need to agree on whether or not you would move anywhere and where would be agreeable and where would not be agreeable. Let’s say the the transfer is to a northern state and you don’t like the cold. That being the case, you don’t feel like you can endure the hard cold winters. You would need to discuss whether or not a transfer can be made to a southern state where the weather is milder. If a transfer to a milder state is possible, are there any southern states where you wouldn’t want to live.

When two people are dating, many times these types of things don’t come up. Both people are just so happy with each other that the two of you think that you could be happy any place where the other goes as long as you are together. These are all very important things to be discussed early on when the relationship starts to get serious.

If you can’t accept what the other person’s occupation is going to be, then you need to break up before there is a marriage or any children. The sooner you break up, the sooner you can get on with your life. If you don’t want to break up, then you will need to get help to find out how you can accept the situation and be happy with it forever.

Marriage isn’t something to go into lightly. The vows are until death do you part, not until you can no longer get along with each other and divorce does you part.

A Good Relationship

There is nobody I know of that doesn’t want to live a happy and fulfilled life. It is imperative that you find someone that you will love for ever and be happy together. Life is too short to live it being unhappy, or being abused and mistreated.

You also need to pay attention to how your other person treats family and friends as well as strangers. If your other friend is mean or uninterested when in a group, that may be a warning sign that you may end up being alienated from your family and friends.

There are some qualities and some weaknesses that you should ask yourself if the one you are with has any of these traits.  The good traits or qualities that I am talking about are, being patient and kind, and does this person rejoice in the truth. Weaknesses are having envy for someone, being jealous of someone, being boastful or arrogant about self and accomplishments, do they insist on having their own way, are they resentful toward others, and do they rejoice at wrong doing? After you have answered these concerns about the other person, ask them about yourself. If any of the answers are troublesome either way, then discuss it with the other person about the answers for both of you. See if you can figure a way to work it out, or if there is no solution, then accept it and break up. As before, the breaking up will be hard, but it is better by far than living with someone and being married to them when they cause you to feel uneasy about anything that has to do with them.

When you are committed to another person, you need to always be willing to lift that person up and encourage them in all that they do.If there is something that they do that you cannot lift them up about and cannot be encouraging to them, then you will always be miserable and may become resentful toward them. Any ill feelings about someone else just festers and gets worse and worse as time goes on. You need to figure what has to be done to remedy the situation. It won’t be easy, but it is necessary.

If you can’t handle it by yourself, then by all means seek professional help. I am not telling you to do anything that I have not had to do myself. There are still times that I have to work on things in my own life, and it is not easy, but it is necessary.

Being Nice And Treating People Well

Recently I saw some posters that had to do with the treatment of others and living a better life. I thought that they would be good for everybody to read and think about. The pictures are below. I will expound on each one as best as I can.

The picture below is from someecards.com.

What it teaches is really sound advice. Just because you have an issue with someone, it doesn’t mean that you should mistreat them. By treating them nicely, it brightens up their day and possibly makes them think about whatever the issue is that you have with them. It will also brighten up your day because you can’t be upset when you are treating another person nicely.

Being Nice

The next poster is from Soul Quest.

Bad Treatment By Others Is The Other Person

People that go around destroying other human beings are bullies, plain and simple. They have to make other people feel bad so that they can feel good about themselves. They generally have a bad or low self esteem and can only be pumped up by putting someone else down.

As a rule, unless you know that you are questioning yourself about something, it’s better to just not pay attention to them. Though, you do need to figure out if they are trying to be mean or if they are merely trying to point out something that you could benefit from trying to change it to make it better. It is called constructive criticism and is meant to help, not to make you upset. They are just trying to help you as best they know how, and don’t mean to be offensive toward you.

Some people just don’t know how to take constructive criticism and therefore take all criticism as being bad and demeaning.

There is a lot to be said about treating people kindly. There is a very familiar saying that goes something like this, “You can catch a lot more bees with honey than you can with salt.” The moral is to try to always be nice.

I, myself need to do a lot of work in this area. Very often I get impatient with people that I think can do better than what they do. This probably comes from being reprimanded, from a young age, so much whenever I made mistakes. I feel like everybody should have been taught from an early age also. In my way of thinking a child of nine years old is old enough to be taught how to keep things clean in their room and to be able to wash dishes and get the food off of them. Children need to learn from around ten or eleven how to do laundry, how to press clothes, and how to fold up their clothes so that they don’t always look like they slept in them.

Of course, if there is a reason for the person not being able to do these things, that’s different. But when it is from sheer laziness, I get upset, thinking that they should want to do better. Why would anybody be content with supposedly clean dishes having food on them and clean clothes looking like they have been slept in? If you are going to go to the trouble to wash the dishes, why not do it correctly? The same thing applies to doing laundry. If you are going to go to the trouble of washing and drying your clothes, why wouldn’t you want them to look nice and neat when you wear them?

There is also another saying that states that doing good starts in your own backyard. I am just going to have to accept that not everybody cares about the same things that I care about and therefore I need to keep my opinions to myself.

My blog posts are as much for me as they are for my readers. They are a good review for me.

 

Notice To All Of My Readers

Notice To All Of My Readers

 

After having to go through the loss of my friend’s parents dog last month, I never thought that something like that would happen any too soon again. I was oh so wrong.

My guinea pig, Alisha is now resting in peace. Here is a picture of me holding Alisha, my furry baby, and of her getting ready to give me kisses. I loved her so dearly. My friend had listened with a stethoscope and had heard at least three if not four baby’s heartbeats. I was so excited that we were going to have babies again. This was to be the last time. We never let any of our guinea pigs have more than three litters and this was her third litter.

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Wednesday, February 3rd, she seemed to be going into labor to have her babies. When I woke up Wednesday morning, there was every indication that she was in labor and had already had one still born baby. There was a lot of blood covered bedding in the cage. I was a little sad not to see a live baby, but not too concerned because I didn’t know how long it had been since she had had the still born baby.

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She was just staying in the corner being very quiet. I tried to pet her, but all she would do was shiver all over. I left her alone to see if she would finish having the babies. After about three or four hours I went to check on her and see how many babies she had had. To my dismay, she had not had any more babies, but was still bleeding. I thought that she was still having babies, but apparently they were all being still born. It was a very sad time not to see any live babies.

On Thursday, February 4th, when I first looked in on her, she was just the same as I had left her the night before. I also noticed that she had not eaten anything and had not had any water either. I had put a piece of tape on the line where the water was to check on her water intake.

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Throughout the day I continued to check on her and to pet her. Being scared that she was not going to make it, I had my friend to take some pictures of me holding her, for what could possibly be the last time. They are below.

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A few hours later I went back to check on her, but still no more babies. Not knowing anything else to do, I covered her cage up and left her alone for the night hoping to see babies in the morning.

But, that was not to happen. Much to my dismay, in the morning, Friday, February 5th, there still were no live babies to be seen. But Alisha was still very big, so I knew that there were still babies to be born.  But she was sitting in the corner differently from what she had been the day before. Now she was pressing her head up against the side of the cage and breathing very quickly. The carrot that I had given her the night before was dried up and still beside her. Obviously she still was not eating or drinking.

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My friends and I started trying to force water into her by using a small syringe and giving her a few drops at the time. We were hoping that after doing that, she would have the babies. So once again, we left her alone for three or four hours at the time, in between trying to give her water. At around 7:00 PM I went to check on her, and to hold her and hug her just for a little while. I had my friend to listen to her and to see if he could hear the babies’ heart beats. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hear any and could barely hear her heart beat. He thought that she had a collapsed lung. When I picked her up, she had an accident on me.

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I was a little alarmed, but thought that maybe she was getting ready to have her now dead babies. That, she had been in labor too long and the babies had all died. So once again, I went out and left her alone for an hour. My thoughts were that if she had the dead babies, just maybe, then she could rebound and be OK. At least that was what I was hoping.

At 8:00 PM I went back to check on her and her babies. There were no babies, and she was not breathing either. I had my friend to listen again, and he confirmed my worst fears. Alisha had died. She had died from the exhaustion of trying to have her babies. She had apparently been pushing so hard to have them that her lung collapsed and she just could not rebound from that stress. At least she is no longer suffering from her ordeal. I will miss her dearly.

All day Saturday (yesterday), February 6, I was just sort of in shock. I had been counting on watching the last babies grow up and go to loving homes. That was not to happen. Instead, I had to say “Good-Bye” forever to Alisha, my furry baby.

I am sorry that I have been unable to do my blogs during this time, but to me, my furry baby was more important. I loved her so much. I watched her grow up from the day she was born, and I bought her from my friends, when she was old enough to be taken away from her mother. It had been a wonderful time with her, and I certainly was not ready to let her go. I know that at least she will not suffer anymore.

I hope that this is the end of anybody that I know losing a pet to an untimely death. They are having a really bad effect on me lately, and I am sort of befuddled to understand as to why.

What Is Faith

Faith is a word that is very hard to define and even harder to understand. I am not a professional by any means when it comes to theology or psychology and how the mind works. I can only draw from what I read and my own personal experiences.

One definition that I have heard, for as long as I can remember is, “faith is believing in something that you cannot see or touch.” The biggest argument for faith is that we all know that we have to have oxygen to breathe. Every person that is old enough to know what I am saying has to have faith that when they take a deep breath in, they are going to breathe in the oxygen that they need. Oxygen cannot be seen, nor can it be touched by us, yet we all have faith that it is there.

There is another one that I have to point out, and it is the wind. We cannot see the actual wind, nor can we actually touch it. What we see and feel is the effect that the wind has when it is blowing. We can see what the wind is swirling around during a tornado or a hurricane. And we can also feel what it is swirling around if it hits us. Otherwise the wind is invisible.

One that I just thought about is heat and cold. We have faith that the sun is going to make us warm when it is nearer the earth, but we cannot actually touch the heat, we can only feel the effects of the heat on our body. The cold is similar. However it can be felt when it is mixed with water and produces ice. But when we go outside, we cannot actually see the cold. We can see the results of it in our breath when it is cold outside. We can also see the effects of the cold on our glasses as they fog up when we go outside from the warmth of a heated house. But we have faith that in the spring and summer it is going to be warm and/or hot and that in the fall and winter it is going to be cold and/or freezing.

I Googled faith and the following is the result of that inquiry.

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faith
fāTH/
noun
  1. 1.
    complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
    “this restores one’s faith in politicians”
    synonyms: trust, belief, confidence, conviction;More

  2. 2.
    strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
    synonyms: religion, church, sect, denomination, (religious) persuasion, (religious) belief, ideology, creed, teaching, doctrine

    “she gave her life for her faith”

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Taking the first definition: complete trust or confidence in someone or something, there are some obvious examples that I can think of. Having faith in someone is like when we have faith in our doctors that they are going to be able to keep us well by giving us our preventative immunizations and medications. We have faith that the doctors will make us well if we are sick by giving us shots, antibiotics, IVs, and or pills.

When we go to sit in a chair or on a couch, we have faith that it will hold our weight and not collapse under us. We have faith that our many machines are going to work properly, such as machines that wash for us, cook for us, give us light, and that our computers are going to work when we turn them on, as well as our medical machines such as CPAP machines and breathing treatment machines, etc.

When we fill our cars with gas or diesel, we have faith that there is nothing wrong with the fuel and that it is going to make our car run just fine. Eating at a restaurant, we have faith that the food is still good and that we are not going to get food poisoning.

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The second definition is going to be the hardest to explain:  strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof

To try to explain this one, I have to refer back to the discussion about oxygen. Just as with oxygen, God cannot be seen or touched physically. Even though this is true, there are millions of people that believe in God, and I am one of them. That is the faith that I have.

I cannot look around me and not believe that there is a God. When I look at a new born baby, I cannot believe that there is any way, other than God, that the baby could have come to be. God had to be the one to make the egg and the sperm for the two to come together to form the baby. Yes, science has taken an egg from a woman and sperm from a man and joined them to produce a so call it test tube baby. But there is no way that a scientist can produce the egg or the sperm that are necessary to make the baby. It is humanly impossible for someone to come up with the correct number or types of cells necessary to produce the egg. Nor can a human being come up with the correct combination of cell types and numbers to produce the sperm. Without the egg and sperm there is no baby.

My faith in God cannot let me believe in the Big Bang Theory. There had to be something very powerful that formed the dinosaurs and the dragons as well as the neanderthals and the cave people, and then gave them the breath of life. Something had to form the insides of all of the living things so far as the organs, the blood and the muscles of each individual type of living thing on earth. Yes I can believe in evolution of sorts, but God began the process, PERIOD. The same goes for the plants, trees, grasses, insects, water animals, feathered animals and serpents.

I need to get back to the meaning of faith. When I pray about something, I have faith that my prayer is going to be answered. It may not be answered the way I am hoping for, but never the less it will be answered. I have to have that faith in order to have peace of mind.

My faith is in the unseen and the unable to touch area. Because I have been hurt by so many people, it takes a long time for me to trust people and have faith in them. When I do put faith in someone else, I have to tell myself that if whatever I have faith in the person happens, then I am better off for it. But by the same token, if whatever I had faith in the person for does not happen, then at least I am no worse off than what I already am. Having this mindset is the only way that I can handle putting any faith in very many people very much any more. There are some people that I have opened up to and trust with my life though. That being the case, I have not turned my back on all people. I just don’t trust as much as I used to. It has taken a long time to trust the new friends that I have now. When your family treats you really badly, it has an effect on how you do or do not trust your friends. You have to give it time and trust with the little things first and build up to the bigger things.

Words Of Wisdom

Words of wisdom are usually very helpful to whomever they are imparted. The older a person is, the deeper their words of wisdom may go. They have lived more years to be able to have learned these important little tid-bits and pass them on. The older people are in hopes that the younger generation will glean important information from what they have learned in their many years. With that being said, here are some more posters.

The first poster was obviously written by Winston Churchill. I don’t know who actually put it in poster form though.

When you stop and really think about it, the advice is very true. Most people think that once they succeed at something, they have finally arrived. But success is not always final. It is hard for most people to succeed to a point where others see them as a success, but unfortunately far too easy to lose that success and fail at whatever it was that they had succeeded at.

Failure, by the same token is not fatal. It does not mean that it is the end of the world just because you failed. Failing and having to feel its’ bitter sting is a part of life. Most people are not willing to try to work through the failure and turn it around to a success. When they unfortunately get to that point, it usually is fatal in that the person is not willing to try anymore to succeed.

Like the last part says, “it is the courage to continue that counts.” Just stop and think about it for a minute. If Thomas Edison had not had the courage to continue trying, at least one more time, after that 1,000th time, we might not have the electric light bulb today. Thank You Thomas Edison for having the courage to try that one last time.

Failure and Success

The next poster was obviously written by F. Scott Fitzgerald. However, I don’t know who actually put it in poster form. We are not always proud of the things that we do, and or how we have lived. Everybody makes mistakes. The poster speaks for itself. When we are not proud of who we are, or how we have lived,  we have to have the strength to start all over again. When you lose the strength to start all over again, in essence you have given up and given in to failure.

By F Scott Fitzgerald

This poster is from Fb/HugsandKisses. I don’t know who actually wrote it though. A strong friendship lives in the heart through a strong relationship. Once two friends have this, their friendship will never end. These people will always be true friends, and will never part. There is not very much that I can say to actually expound on this photo

Friends That Are True

I have some friends that I have had for many many years. There are times that I go for months and don’t get to talk to them. When I do get to call them, they talk to me as if we had been talking every so often all along. Other than asking for updates as to what has been going on, it’s as if we have talked every few days, the same as we used to do before we got older. Getting older also means getting slower and forgetting a lot of things, usually until it’s time to go to bed, and then it’s obviously too late to be calling old friends. We have lived apart for decades, and only gotten to see each other every few years. But we have remained friends in our hearts. We love each other the same as if neither one of us ever moved away. So they “live” in our hearts always, and especially in between the times we get to talk to each other. That’s what a true, strong, friendship is all about.

 

 

When Grief Takes Over

To My Readers,                                                                                                                              I am sorry that I have not posted anything since I wrote the blog last week titled Dealing With Loss And Grief. Little did I know what I would have to deal with myself. I honestly thought that I would be able to handle what had happened and still be able to function. Of course I knew that there would be times when I would be overly sad and even cry about it. What I did not realize was that it would hit me so hard.

The sudden death of a family pet is always hard to handle. When a pet is sick and the family knows that there is no way for the pet to get well, they know that death is going to be coming. They have time to try to prepare for the inevitable. Don’t get me wrong, knowing that the death is inevitable does not eliminate the empty feeling and the feeling of loss. However, when the death is unexpected and due to the pet being hit and killed by a vehicle, the loss seems so much worse.

When my friend’s parent’s dog met this fate last week, while my friend was keeping the dog, I experienced this in a way very unfamiliar to me. I don’t know if it is because of my age or what, but last week I lost almost all sense of time and days. I thought that I had only missed a couple or three days of posting. I was absolutely shocked when I looked at the website and found out that I had not posted anything since the initial post about the accident and how to deal with the grief. The post was meant to help others that may be going through it. I never thought that I would be posting it for myself, but I now realize that that is exactly what has happened.

Please accept my apology for that happening, but I could not help it. Hopefully I am over the initial shock and can get back to my obligations. I am certainly counting on that being the case. There will still be times that I will feel sad, but I will do my best not to let it take over me like it did last week. I will get back to a schedule tomorrow. I didn’t want this post to appear further down and be missed.

For Bladder And Drainage Bag Issues

You have to do some amazing things when you have an artificial bladder, with a catheter coming out of your abdomen, and being hooked up to a 2000 cc drainage bag all the time. I didn’t want people to have to see the bag with the urine in it, and get upset that I couldn’t cover it in some way. I chose to purchase cloth bags that were large enough to hold the drainage bag, and that had handles that I could put a belt through so I could hang it around my waist. I took pictures so you could see what I am talking about.

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As you can see, there is a weird looking white sort of square object coming out of the first picture and then, all by itself in the next picture. That is a piece of board that I covered with white duct tape to eliminate getting splinters in my hands and so the splinters would not puncture the drainage bag. I then put it in a plastic bag so it would not get wet when I get caught in the rain, or have to go out in the rain for any reason.

To make the board, I first measured the drainage bag while it was hanging in a trashcan by my bed. That way I was able to find out how long the board needed to be in order for the bag to hang on it. I also measured how wide the drainage bag was so it wouldn’t have to be kinked up in the bag. Having folded places or kinks in a drainage bag is a bad thing to have. This is true especially in the winter when it is bitter cold. If the drainage bag has any folds or kinks in it, the cold could make them crack and the bag would start leaking.

You can probably tell, I tried to take every precaution I could, to avoid any damage happening to the drainage bag and causing it to leak. The board also comes in handy as a separator in the cloth bag. That way I can carry other items in the back of the cloth bag. As I am in a wheelchair, it is almost impossible to carry a purse with me. That being the case, I utilize the back of the cloth bag to carry other stuff with me.

The little thing that is on the belt is a multi-tool that I carry all the time, in case I need it for any small emergency, where screw drivers, and other tools, may be necessary.