That’s Just What Moms Do

There are many types of Moms or Mothers. The first type is the biological Mother that actually gives birth to the child. This can be a natural parent or a surrogate Mother. There are Foster Moms and Adopted Mothers. Are then there are Grandmothers and Godmothers. Bet you never really stopped to think about just how many types of Mothers there are. But the fact is that whatever person is in charge of you when you are a minor is the same as a mother figure to you. This does not matter how bad or how good they are, they are still your mother figure. Even if you are currently, or you were in an orphanage, the leader there is your Mother (or Father) figure as the case may be. Even children that are raised with their natural parents could have good or bad parents. What I am talking about in this post is the types of mothers that I grew up around, meaning my own Mother and my friends Mothers, so just keep that in mind when you read this.

Mothers do whatever is necessary to raise their child or children as best as they can in good or bad circumstances. My real Father left when I was an infant, so my Mother had to raise four babies on her own until we went to live with my Grandmother (my Nanny). We couldn’t say Grandmother correctly, and Nanny was all that we could say, so our Grandmother, our Mother’s Mother was Nanny.

When a Mother raises her children on her own, she makes many sacrifices for them. I know that my mother used to count the pieces of lunch meat and sliced cheese before she would make a sandwich for herself. If there was only enough for us four children, then my Mother went without having a sandwich and made sure that we had a sandwich for our lunch. The same was true of any food that we had. My Mother always made sure that us four children ate even if it meant that she didn’t eat. Why? you may ask. It’s just because, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

A Mother will go without sleep if her child, or children are sick. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”. They may be sick with a headache or a cold, but they will still clean up after their children in their children threw up or had diarrhea all over them self. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

A Mother will make sure that her children have clean clothes. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”. A Mother will make sure that her children have shoes and socks, if at all possible and money allows, even if she has to use shoes that are torn or worn. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

A Mother will go without sleep if her child is having a bad dream and needs her to help calm them down. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

A Mother will look under the bed and check the closet, or wherever the child thinks a monster or boggy man may be. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

Even if a Mother had a bad night herself, but her child has a program at school the next day, she will go [if she can get off of work(if she works)]. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

If the child is in danger, a Mother will step in front of the child to keep them from harm. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

I am sure that you have all heard stories about parents showing examples of unheard of strength to remove a heavy object from off of the child to get the child to safety if they are under the object in any way. Classic example, a heavy bookcase falls on the child when he/she was climbing up on it to get an object they wanted and the Mother gets unheard of strength to be able to remove the bookcase from on top of the child and get the child to safety of to medical health, whichever the case may be. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

What I am trying to point out is that a Mother will do anything necessary for her child or children to keep them safe, fed, clean, and healthy. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

Try to remember that not all Mothers possess the ability to be able to do all of these things all the time, or maybe not any of the time. But, most Mothers do the best that they can at any given time for their children.

I will give a personal example. Before my Mother and us four children went to live with my Nanny, my Mother always put us children first when it came to eating, doing our laundry, staying up with us when we were sick, even if she didn’t get any sleep herself, and things like that. Then we went to live with my Nanny. We lived with my Nanny until I was 8 years old. That was when my Mother married my first step-father.

After my Mother married my first step-father, almost everything changed. Yes, my Mother still did the things about food, laundry, and whenever we were sick, but she was helpless to keep me safe whenever my step-father got drunk and started abusing me. I always thought that it was because she didn’t love me anymore since she married my step-father. He beat me every time he got drunk. But what I didn’t know, until after I was taken away from the family, was that she was being beaten too. She never let on to us children that she was being hurt too. For whatever the reason, I was the one of us children that he beat every time he got drunk. It wasn’t until he beat me so bad that he almost killed me, and I was taken away from the family, that I stopped being beat by him when he got drunk. I went to live with a friend as a live-in babysitter, never to return to my family again.

It was years later that it came out that my Mother was also being beat up. When my step-father pulled a gun on her and threatened to kill her, she finally left him one day when he was at work. I had gone to visit my Nanny, and my Mother was moving into an apartment close to where my Nanny lived. It was then that I found out that she had been beat also.

After being taken away from the family, I blamed my Mother for not protecting me. It was only after being in therapy for many, many years that I realized that my Mother had done the best that she could when I was growing up. It had to be so so hard for her to keep it a secret for all those many years. Why did she keep it a secret all those years? “That’s Just What Moms Do”.

I have since reconciled with my Mother about those bad years growing up. She divorced my first step-father, and a few years later married a wonderful man. I know that the 31 years that she spent with my second step-father were the best years of her life. I dearly loved him, up until the day he died, in his sleep, in a diabetic coma. My Mother has lived with my sister ever since then, and has spent a month or two with one of my brothers, here and there, ever since then. I miss him so much. I did get to spend time with my Mother last year, while my sister and he husband were on a trip. With all of my medical issues, I hadn’t gotten to see my Mother in a little over 11 years.

The point of this post is that if things have happened in your life that you are blaming on your Mother, please try to forgive her. Everything that happened wrong may not have been totally her fault. Try to get the whole story before you take a chance on carrying your anger, resentment, and hurt for any longer than what you have to. It would literally be a crying shame for your Mother to die and you and her to never have reconciled any differences you two may have. You don’t want to be on your death bed and realize that the two of you never got it straightened out and started talking to each other on a good basis. I know that I sure am glad that I forgave my Mother and we got everything straightened out and now we have a good relationship.

This goes for any relationship that you have that is strained. Think about it. Life is too short to carry on hardships in relationships for years on end.

 

Finally Back In Operation

It has been since the end of May that I posted my last blog here. I have had too many things happen to discuss at this time. There have been medical issues on my part, being out of state helping to take cake of my Mother, while my sister and brother-in law went on a trip, and major problems with my laptop that resulted in having to let it be discarded.

My friend tried many times, unsuccessfully, to fix my laptop. It would work for a few days, and then start acting up again. I had to admit that it was unable to be fixed, because if my friend can’t fix it, it can’t be fixed. He is a genius when it comes to fixing computers.

That same friend is loaning me a laptop until I can save up the money to have a custom desktop built. Once the desktop is built, it will be easier to fix if anything happens to it. Each component is separate and can be replaced very easily. Laptops are hard to work on because everything is connected to the motherboard. When there is a short anywhere, it’s very hard to find, and obviously even harder to fix.

Enough said. I am back, and this is hopefully the last new beginning I will have to do.

Even Young Children Can Make A Difference And Save A Life

This blog is about children saving adults and helping deliver babies. In our society today, most children are barely being tolerated. They are given electronic babysitters, so to speak, as soon as they are big enough to hold an iphone, and iPad, or a tablet. Then they are taught how to watch children’s movies on these devices, and left to their own resources. Unfortunately, that’s not the way to raise responsible adults. That’s the way to raise very selfish adults that are barely able to take care of their self, if they can even yake care of their self. And believe me, there are plenty of young adults that don’t know beans about living on their own and taking care of their self.

When I was growing up, we were taught our name, our parents name, our address, and our phone number. Believe it or not, there are some children today that don’t even know that much basic information. Now days there is almost no such a thing as a land line. the only people that have land lines are senior citizens that need the land lines to have their emergency alerts connected to them, otherwise everybody has a cell phone.

I saw an episode of a show, from back in the 90’s, called Rescue 911, where the Mother was expecting a baby any day. The Father had to work nights. They had a three year old son. They taught the son how to dial 911 and tell the operator that “my Mommy is having a baby”. That way the toddler would be able to accomplish this task of getting emergency help. They even had a phone installed in the bathroom, where he could reach it to dial 911. The toddler did have to use the phone to call 911, but not because his Mother was having a baby, but because his Mother was choking on a piece of hard candy, and had already fallen to the floor. Luckily enough the dispatcher could barely hear the Mother in the background gasping for breath. They thought that the toddler was just playing with the phone. Once they heard the Mother, they immediately sent help, but they kept the toddler on the phone until help arrived. So in essence, the toddler saved his Mother’s life.

In this blog, there is a video of a 5 year old girl that saved her Mother from drowning, in a pool, when her Mother had a seizure. There is a video of a 5 year old little girl, that saved her Dad’s life, when he was having trouble breathing. Another video is of another 5 year old, but this time it was a little boy, that saved his Father’s life when he was in a diabetic coma. And last, but not least, there is an amazing video of an 8 year old little girl helping her Mom deliver her baby brother.

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A video about a 5 year old little girl that saved her drowning Mother.

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A video about when Savannah’s Dad was having trouble breathing and she called 911 for them to save her Dad’s life.

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A video of a 5 year old little boy who saves Dad in diabetic coma.

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Here is a video of an 8 year old little girl helping her Mom deliver her baby brother.

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Hopefully these videos have really impressed upon you that even young children can be very resourceful and have the capability of saving an adult. It all has to do with proper teaching and upbringing. When children are taught to have compassion and concern for other people and to know the value of other person’s life, then they will react with that same compassion and love when it comes to saving another person’s life. These are the type of children that hopefully will be the leaders of our society someday. Otherwise, I think that our society is in grave danger of demise. We are already falling down a steep hill, at a very rapid pace. Something has to change for the better, or we may no longer be a thriving society, but a society in ruins.

There Is Always Someone Worse Off Than You

I know that most of you have heard the saying that “There is always someone worse off than you.” Probably, when things are going badly, you have to wonder about that. Today I am posting on different babies and children that are facing life with problems that seem to be not even compatible with life, and in essence against all odds. But they are living, none the less. Just try to remember these babies and their families the next time that you think that life couldn’t be any worse than what you are living. For these children and babies, they were born with everything stacked against them, yet they are surviving and smiling. Think about their future and all of the trials and tribulations that they will have to face for as long as they are alive. Some may not live to be adults, but they were not even expected to survive the first 24 hours of their respective lives.

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The first one is about a baby who had a birth defect that was visible on his prenatal ultra sounds. However, at the time, it was not clear what the birth defect was. Once the baby was born, it was discovered that the baby had a condition called encephalocele that caused his brain to grow through a hole in his skull and into his nose.

Ultrasound Of Baby With Brain In Nose   Baby With Brain In Nose

Baby And Big Sister

The baby is now (or at the time of the article he was) 21 months old. it may look like he wouldn’t be able to breathe, but he has nostrils, just they are not side by side like normally is the case. He has one nostril on either side of the birth defect.

His mother and his big sister love him very much. He seems to be a happy baby, in spite of the growth on his nose. His Mother takes up for him whenever people make rude or hurtful remarks and act like bullies.

Read the article to get the full story.

the URL to the story is: http://www.littlethings.com/ollie-pinocchio-baby-v5/?utm_source=idc&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=babies

************************************************************************************************* The second baby was born without the top of his skull having developed before his birth. The baby was not supposed to make it through the night, or even for 24 hours.

This is a miracle baby for sure.

Even though he is missing part of his brain, and has only the bottom part of his skull, he is learning to talk.

This part of the article shows that he is still beating all of the odds. Obviously his family loves him very dearly also. He truly is a miracle baby.

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The third story is about a little girl who was born without bones, yet she is still living, and obviously she is happy. Miraculously some bones started growing by the time she reached 18 months old.  The URL to her story is:    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2312985/Janelly-Martinez-Amador-Incredible-bravery-girl-6-born-bones-overcome-illness-learn-dance.html

In the first picture below, Janelly Martinez Amador is just laying on the floor. In the second picture, you can see her feet turned almost backwards. Apparently she can’t feel it because she has very little bone structure. In the third picture you can see that it is necessary to use a harness to make sure that she doesn’t fall out of her wheelchair.

You can read all about her in the story referenced by the URL above.

born with no bones - 1

born with no bones - 2

Power Clean – Dawn Dish Washing Liquid

The picture is not mine. I went to Google for it. I do not know whose picture it is.

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I report on very good products that I find and use personally. The latest one is the Power Clean – Dawn Dish Washing Liquid. It touts that in only 5 minutes of soaking with this, the pans get as clean as if they had soaked overnight. And you know what? They really do.

Dawn Power Clean

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and even though the pans are clean, I still use S.O.S. afterwards to put a nice shine on them. Part of it is my upbringing though. When I was little, back in the 50’s, the only way to get pans REALLY clean was to use the S.O.S. on them, and needless to say, I have continued that practice.

You may believe in another name brand of dish washing liquid, and if so that’s fine, but at least try my method once. Then you can write a comment back to me and let me know what you thought of it. If by chance you have some way that you swear by, let me know in the comment, and I will try it some time and write back on it at a later date.

Thank you in advance if you do try it and write back to me in a comment.

 

 

berlin-artparasites’s photo.

berlin-artparasites photo

Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them.

If the first woman they passionately loved, the mother, was not true to her bond of love, then how can they trust that their partner will be true to love. Often in their adult relationships these men act out again and again to test their partner’s love. While the rejected adolescent boy imagines that he can no longer receive his mother’s love because he is not worthy, as a grown man he may act out in ways that are unworthy and yet demand of the woman in his life that she offer him unconditional love.

This testing does not heal the wound of the past, it merely reenacts it, for ultimately the woman will become weary of being tested and end the relationship, thus reenacting the abandonment. This drama confirms for many men that they cannot put their trust in love. They decide that it is better to put their faith in being powerful, in being dominant. —Bell Hooks

‪#‎ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmm‬

artwork by Jesùs Leguizamo

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This was on Facebook and is not my own work. I copied it so others could ponder the message that is conveyed here.

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Why I Can’t Understand Unconditional Love – And My Life

Below you will find a history lesson of my life. After the history of my life there is a discussion on unconditional love. In the discussion I will reveal my inner most feelings and beliefs about it.

I basically am what is commonly called a scaredy cat. I have always been afraid to do most everything. About the only thing I have been able to do is to fight to survive all of the abuse and mistreatment.

I got sick almost every time that I ate. This started right after I was born. My Mother said that I was allergic to almost everything she put in my mouth. I would projectile vomit almost every time she gave me a bottle or anything to eat. Part of it could have been due to my kidney and bladder problems. For some reason, the Navy doctors never put two and two together to come up with four and figure that out. They never thought about what the medication was doing to my stomach.

I had a kidney infection so bad when I was just ten days old that I almost died. The constant upset stomach made me be very cranky. I can remember having “temper fits”, as my Mother used to call them. I would slap the back of my legs on the floor while screaming to the top of my lungs. My Mother would just stand there and ask me, “Can’t you slap your legs any harder?” and “Can’t you scream any louder?” Of course this would make me do just that, until my legs and throat hurt so bad that I had to stop.

One little tid bit. I had been told by my Mother, ever since I can remember, that I hadn’t been wanted since it was known that I was going to be. That my Father wanted her to fall down the stairs and lose me. But she wouldn’t do it. I didn’t know what that meant until I learned about the reproduction cycle in the fourth or fifth grade.

Up until I was six years old, I thought the only reason you went to the doctor was for them to stick that tube in you to get the pee out, or to be stitched up from splitting something open, like my leg or my head. I was always falling or getting hurt and ending up having to get stitches.

This had to affect my sister and my two brothers. I was number two out of the first four children. The order of us goes older brother, me, sister,  and finally my younger brother.

My Father left when my Mother was expecting my younger brother. He and his new wife had two girls and one boy. When my Mother married my first Stepfather they ended up having one girl (who died at six months old), and one boy. The order (according to birthdates) after all the splits and remarriages was, older brother, me, oldest sister, younger brother, first half sister by Father, first half sister by Mother (died at six months old), second half sister by Father, first half brother by Mother, second half brother by Father.

As a child I was afraid to play because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able do it right and would therefore be made fun of. I was very skinny and had hair as straight as if I had ironed it. The other kids called me Olive Oil, Skinny Minnie, Bean Pole, and Telephone Pole, on account of my being so skinny. I was clumsy and always falling down and getting hurt. I was also a tomboy. My sister on the other hand had naturally curly hair and was beautiful.

Everybody would make over my sister and hold her and love on her, but I was basically ignored. My Mother said, that when my sister was a baby, she would only have to sit my sister on a blanket in the corner, and my sister would sit there for hours just picking the fuzz off of the blanket and roll it between her fingers and sucking on her tongue. I, on the other hand was put in a playpen with wooden bars, where I would hit my head against the bars whenever I got upset about something.

Even though any parent, that I have ever heard talk about their children, will say that they love them all the same, it is not true. Actions speak way louder that their words ever could. Just watch how each child is treated. It will be obvious who the favorite child/children is/are. In my case, it was anybody except for me. I was the black sheep of the family, then and still am to this day.

Since I was considered a tomboy, except for going to church, I was usually put in simple cotton dresses. No frills or anything, and then I was placed in a playpen. My sister was usually dressed in velveteen dresses with lace all over them, and placed on a blanket in the corner. That way the rest of us children would not bother her. Anybody that came to visit would always pick her up and ooh and aah over her. I was ignored. My older brother was brilliant, so they would carry on conversations with him because of it. I was ignored. My younger brother had convulsions, so his condition and how he was doing was always being asked about, and therefore being talked about. I was ignored. I was in a playpen and my younger brother was in his crib. My older brother went wherever he wanted. He was born a little man. I can remember one time when family came to visit from North Carolina. They were taking pictures of us to show the other relatives when they returned back home. I had fallen a few day earlier and skinned my knee. By this time it was healing nicely. To make sure that I was noticed, I pulled my skirt to my dress up to show my skinned knee.

Whenever someone would come looking for me, when I was little and we lived with my Grandmother “Nanny”, Mama would always tell them not to look for me on the ground, but to look for me up in a tree or on someone’s shed roof. My Mother called me her backwards child, because for some reason I always seemed to do things wrong. This was why I had such a fear of playing with other children. As long as we lived with my Nanny, I was OK. I was with all the children that I grew up with. It didn’t become bad until after my Mother married my first Stepfather, and we moved away from my Nanny’s house. My Mother would tell my younger sister that if she didn’t take me out to play with her and her friends, then she couldn’t go out to play herself. That is probably where her rejection of me started. She has told me that if I wasn’t her sister I would never have been her friend. And as we have gotten older, it has only gotten worse.

This quote from “This Thing Called Unconditional Love And My feelings About It” may help to shed some light on what I am saying. “Since my first Stepfather beat and abused me more than any of the other children in the family, I convinced myself that he did it because he loved me the most. This action on my part made it possible for me to survive many years of beatings and other forms of abuse, until I was taken away from my family never to return again. After all I was a child, and a child cannot generally take up for his or her self.”

Even though I was 17, when I was taken away from my family in 1969, never to return again, the abuse by him started when I was 8. Most young children that are abused don’t mature mentally as well as those that are not abused.

To my way of thinking, I was “loved” by him because he was “correcting” me for things that he perceived that I was doing wrong. These wrong things included such stuff as not wanting to eat, trying to love him no matter how badly he treated me (unconditional love I thought), and my just being me.

After I was taken away in 1969, I went to be a live-in babysitter. I was there until 1972 when I moved away. I went to live with my , at that time, fiance in Kentucky.

There were some problems, so I moved in with my Nanny, in February of 1973 until I was married in July of 1974.

In 1974 I married, who I thought was my love, and moved to Kentucky. He left me in 1978 for a truck stop waitress.

In 1979 I met someone in a church function and we were married in 1980. He left when he went to a party and just never came back in 1983.

I was established in my job and vested for retirement. so I stayed in Kentucky instead of “running back home to Mama”. Big mistake.

In 1989 all the memories of the abuse that I had suffered came flooding back and I had to go on medical disability. I was being admitted to the hospital every two to three months, to handle all of the  traumatic memories. I had buried these memories for 20 years.

My sister’s children were born in 1983, 1985, and 1987. I visited as often as I could, but at least once a year while they were little. I also worked with my Mother at the YMCA when they had their annual membership renewal in November. I took my two weeks vacation each year to be able to do it.

In March of 1990, I came down with pneumonia, bronchitis and asthma, while visiting my sister in Norfolk, Virginia. The doctors ordered me to stay an extra two weeks. She and her husband took care of me during that time. After I returned home in April, my asthma was so bad that I was being rushed to the hospital every 7 to 10 days with asthma attacks so bad that I couldn’t breathe. On june 9, 1990, I lost my permanent job that I had had since August of 1974 as well as my part-time job that I had had since March of 1986.

Once I lost both of my jobs, I was without an income. No income meant no money to move back to where my family was. And if I moved back, I had to be a resident of the state for six months before I would qualify for any type of benefits due to my disability. Also, I was in counseling therapy two to three times a week. it would have been hard on my family for me to stay with them, and costing them money to support me until I had received my residency status. My family would also have had to come up with the money to move me back home. I felt it was too much to expect of my family, so I stayed in Kentucky. My thinking was that I was being considerate of my family by doing that. It would turn out later that I was so very wrong by doing that.

In 1991 had to file for bankruptcy. I had sold my cherry bedroom suite to my sister and her husband trying to catch up on my bills, but it didn’t help enough.

In the meantime, I was on loads of medications and had to do nebulizer (breathing) treatments four times a day for my asthma. I was on the steroid prednisone and gained 100 pounds in six months. By May of 1993, I became diabetic from the prednisone. This is a common side effect for some people who have to be on it for an extended period of time. I ended up on oxygen and had to have an oxygen concentrator in my house and take portable tanks with me everywhere I went. It took the doctors three years to come up with the “perfect combination” of medications for me.

In May of 1993, I started back to school. I registered at the community college here. At that time, I was pulling oxygen tanks behind me and had to wear a mask due to having a depressed immune system from the prednisone. If you had a cold and I caught it, it could go into pneumonia on me and kill me. My bone problems in my right elbow ended up with me having to use an arm brace, and needing a note taker in all of my classes. It took me six and a half years to complete what should have been a two year course of study.

With all of my medical problems, I could only attend on a half time basis. During my attendance there, I had to have several surgeries. Most of the surgeries were on my knees, which ended me up in a wheelchair in January of 1995. That same month, I had to change my major from Respiratory Care to Computer Programming. On my birthday, March 22,1997, during Spring Break, I was in the hospital, and my bladder stopped working. I couldn’t go to the bathroom at all. I had to have surgery on April 18th, to have a catheter permanently inserted in through my groin area and straight into my bladder. During those college years, I also had to have emergency gallbladder surgery, and emergency hemorrhoid surgery. But I persevered and graduated with honors with a double major in computer information systems and computer programming. I found a job within three months after my completion of the courses. My completion date was December 1999, and my start date at work was March 2000.

Between March and April of 2001, I went to visit my sister and her family. I hadn’t seen them in a few years. I was waiting for the reconstruction of the artificial bladder and had an indwelling catheter in my urethra and a drainage bag inside of a cloth bag. I had used a belt to go through the handles of the cloth bag to secure it to my waist. By doing this, I was trying to be as discreet as possible, so that people would not have to see a drainage bag full of urine. All that was visible was the tube going between the catheter and the drainage bag. Obviously there was urine in the tube. I had not been able to visit them in for a few years. When I first walked into my sister’s house I could not believe how she greeted me. She said, “Oh my God. You make me sick. Get out of my face. Go to your room.” I almost cried, but I controlled myself. I asked her what she would do if, God forbid, one of her children was in an accident and had to have the same surgery. She answered, “I’d get used to it.” I asked how she could get used to it with her children and she couldn’t get used to it with me. I could not believe her answer. After all, we have the same Mother and Father. It’s not like we had a different one of either. She said, “They’re blood kin.” To this day I cannot believe that she actually said that, but she did. It replays itself over and over in my mind quite frequently. And to this day, she denies that she ever said such a thing. I wouldn’t make up anything that hurtful in my life. Why would I even still think about it if  she had have greeted me with, “How are you doing? Isn’t it hard to get used to having that bag all of the time?” or something similar to that. At least I would know that she cared about me. The whole time that I was there, I could not come out of my room if the bag and tube were not covered up.

In November of 2004 I was let go, due to too many surgeries for my numerous medical issues. As the first surgery on my bladder was failing, I had had to have an artificial bladder surgery in November of 2000. It was also necessary for me to have a left knee replacement in December of 2000. The opening to the bladder closed up while I was in a rehabilitation hospital for my knee in December of the same year. It wasn’t until March of 2001 that I was able to have another surgery on my bladder to correct the malfunction of the first surgery.

I am currently in the process of losing weight so that I can have yet another surgery on my artificial bladder. My weight has been a big issue. Being in a wheelchair and being on so many medications makes it hard to lose weight. I started out at 318 and am down to 227. I have to get to 200 before they will do the surgery. Even then I will only have around a 50/50 chance of making it through. I am one of the few patients, that had the same surgery as I did in 2000, that made it past 2-3 years. The rest passed away. In November, it will be 15 years that I have made it. I am confident that after, I lose the weight, I will be fine after the surgery. God has kept me here for a reason, and obviously he hasn’t finished with me yet.

I am here alone with no husband and no children. I wanted children, but was never able to have any. I lost three, within two weeks of finding out that I was expecting each one. I had a condition called en·do·me·tri·o·sis, and ended up having to have a hysterectomy when I was 30.

Now to get to the point of all of the above information. Since the time that I lost both of my jobs, I have had to borrow money from some of my relatives. Two of them being my older brother and my younger sister. Needless to say, I have been unable to repay them. Neither on of them will have very much to do with me. It is as if my whole family has turned against me on account of my unfortunate circumstances.

My second Stepfather, I called him Pop, passed away in his sleep in February of 2011. My sister told me that she would let me have Mom and Pop’s car. I had made arrangements with one of my best friends friend for him to put a special wheelchair trailer on the back of the car. Yet another friend had told me that he would give me a used trailer. The friend that was going to install the trailer was also going to make any necessary repairs to the car. I was so excited that I was going to get another car.

When I found out that I had diabetic neuropathy, I sold my other vehicle. It was in need of costly repairs, so I told them that they could have it for $10 if they were willing to pay for the repairs, and they were. So I sold it in April of 2008. I wasn’t going to take a chance on having an accident because I couldn’t feel my foot on the gas pedal or the brake pedal and possibly injuring someone or even worse killing someone on account of it.

My sister called me and told me that she had changed her mind about giving me the car. She told me that the car could not accommodate the wheelchair and that she was going to sell it to one of my younger brother’s daughters. She said that the daughter needed it for getting back and forth to work. That I didn’t work and didn’t need it as badly as the daughter did. For the life of me I can’t imagine why a disabled person wouldn’t be able to use a car with a wheelchair trailer on it to transport a wheelchair to doctors and grocery stores. At any rate I didn’t get the car. Well next she was going to give me her old full size Ford Aerostar van. She told me that it was having a problem with the heating and cooling. She couldn’t remember if it was caught on heat or air conditioning. I told her that it didn’t matter because I had friends that could fix it. Next she informed me that the transmission was going out on it. Here again, I told her that I had a friend that would tow it from her house to his house to fix it. I was lucky that he had the exact van, and that he was using it as a junker for parts to fix other vans. She just told me that she had changed her mind. My friends are telling me that she just out right does not love me, heck it seems like she doesn’t even like me. I was starting to wonder.

Her first daughter is my Goddaughter. My sister will not even give me my own Goddaughter’s phone number. It is bad enough she won’t give me her other children’s phone numbers, but my own Goddaughter? How cruel can she be?

She feels like I tell all my family members that, “I love you so much”, too often and that if she gives me their phone numbers, I would call them too much. Well, can I help it if I love my family, even if they don’t love me or ever call me. Does that mean that I should be cut off from her children, just because of what their Mother thinks? I don’t think so. Since she won’t even give me their phone numbers, I can only keep up with them on Facebook. If they also unfriend me, I don’t know what I’ll do.

She tells me all of the time that it doesn’t make sense for anybody to come to see me. That I am just one person and I don’t have any children, and that I’m just not worth it. I can understand where she’s coming from. But I am the only one that is on SSDI. I don’t have a husband or any children. Well it’s not because I didn’t want children, I wanted them very badly. And if everybody, as she puts it, wants to see me and feels the same way about my not being worth it for them visit me, then why don’t the pitch in and buy me a ticket to get there. If she would have given me either one of the vehicles that she said that she was going to give me, then I would have a way to get there myself. Now wouldn’t I?

Not only will nobody come to visit me, and I have been here since 1974 (that’s 41 years), they won’t even call me. The only way I know anything that’s going on with anybody in the family is through Facebook.

As if all of this wasn’t bad enough, the last insult has taken the cake. My sister put a picture of her and her husband on Facebook. The picture is a few years old. I made a comment that I have always liked the picture. Her reply back was, “Thanks Bonnie”. That was fine and dandy until I saw a comment from our half sister. Find below a copy of what the message that I my oldest sister. I copied the section below from a message that I sent to my cousin about it.

I said that I had always liked that picture. Her comment back was “Thanks Bonnie.” Her comment back to our half sister(not putting her name) was, “Thanks sis.” I texted her back that I really appreciate being told thanks like I am no more than an acquaintance, but that our half sister, whom she has known less than 10 years gets a thanks sis. I went on to say, “I love you too. I don’t even feel like I am part of the family any more. The only way I know what’s going on is in Facebook. And YOU won’t even give me my GODDAUGHTER’S phone number. Some sister you are! And yes I am totally PISSED!” (although the computer put PASSED) Then I went on to say, “I have friends that treat me better than you do. And all I try to do is to show you guys how much I love you. Why do I even try?”

Earlier I mentioned in my history that my Father had left us when we were babies. My Mother was expecting the fourth child. He married another woman and had three more children by that woman. They spent a couple of weeks with me in 1972, where I was a live-in babysitter for two little girls.I had been taken away from my first Stepfather, my Mother, and the rest of the family in 1969, due to the abuse. My sister met them less than 10 years ago for the first time.

The oldest, our half sister made a comment on Facebook that the picture was beautiful. Did she just get a reply saying thanks and her name, like I did with the “Thanks Bonnie”? Heck no! She got a reply, “Thanks sis.” Excuse me, but my sister and I had the same Mother and Father. This half sister only had the same Father. How does she rank a “Thanks sis”, and I only rank a “Thanks Bonnie”? Talk about hurt. I sent the message, that I copied above, through Facebook, and she defriended me after that. I haven’t heard from her since then. She didn’t even reply to it. And this isn’t the first time that she has unfriended me. It happened around a year ago, and involved my sister and the same half sister. I can only imagine how she has poisoned their minds against me. And all I want to do is love my family and have them treat me the same as they treat each other. But it seems that since I have this urine bag and my artificial bladder I am biohazard waste, and therefore not only untouchable but to be shunned also. There are about 8 or 9 babies between cousins and great nieces and nephews that I would love to be able to see in person, but I can’t because my sister decided to betray me. By giving the vehicles to other people after telling me that she was going to give them to me, she has cut me off from being able to see the family. Gas is cheaper than a plane ticket.

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Now for the unconditional love discussion, where I will reveal my inner most feelings and beliefs about it.

I know that the above was exhausting to read, but I felt that it needed to be said for you to understand where I am coming from. Please don’t get me wrong with the rest of what I am saying. I am not trying to toot my own whistle, I am just trying to give my perspective and belief on unconditional love. You can tell me what you think in the comments after you read it.

One of my uncles visited me in 1977 and stayed for a few days. We had a blast.

My older brother has never been here to see me. I was in Georgia, in 1976, when he and his wife were married. I have always seen them whenever there has been something going on in Virginia that we were all there for. The last time I can remember that was in 1980 when my sister was married. I was there with my new second husband. My sister did not even have the decency to sit us up with the family. We were seated in the back of the church. Talk about feeling rejected. And I hadn’t even borrowed any money from anybody at that time.

My younger brother and one of his daughters came and stayed over night, so that he could take me there, as he was going to see everybody. That was in 1985.

My sister came here in 1991 to get a cherry bedroom suite. We did a lot of things and had a good time. But it wasn’t just to come see me. It was for the main purpose of coming to get the bedroom furniture.

The last time that I was there was in June of 2006. A friend from Virginia Beach visited me a little later in 2006.

My Pop and all of my Mother’s brothers have passed away since then.

My sister came again a few years ago, when she was on her way back home from a trip to Missouri. She and her husband spent a few hours here visiting with me and my friend. Had it not been on her way returning home, she would not have come then.

Granted, all of the things that my sister has done and not done(as in not coming to visit me), are all hurtful, but she is still my sister, and I love her no matter what. Back in 2011 she had to have surgery for pancreatic cancer. She said then that she wanted to be the sister that she used to be and stop being the sister that she had become. I really thought she had changed. Obviously not.

I must just really be unique or else very stupid, but I would never treat people the way she treats me. I can’t imagine being so mean to anyone, but especially your own brother or sister. And all because I am disabled and needed monetary help from her and my older brother. I honestly don’t know how she sleeps at night. If I treated someone that badly, I couldn’t sleep. She obviously does not consider me family any more. I can just imagine how happy she will be when I die. She probably won’t even come to my funeral. After all, if I’m not worth it for her to come to see me when I’m alive, how in the heck would I be worth it for them to come to my funeral after I’m dead. And all because I am so hurt that she never calls or comes to see me, and I tell her so. Like I said, I can understand where she’s coming from, about it making more sense for me to come there. It does. But why can’t she or any of the rest of my family understand that I am one person that is receiving disability. I don’t have a husband or any children, with husbands and wives, like her family does. So why can’t all of them pitch in to get me to them? It just doesn’t make sense. If the shoe was on the other foot, and I was the one that was married, and had all married children, and she was the one that was alone and disabled, I would do all in my power for me and my children to pitch in so she could come to see me.

Am I just taking the unconditional love too far, and being too nice in loving her no matter how badly she treats me? I myself don’t think so, but all my friends think that I am too good to her for how bad she treats me. They think that the unconditional love does not include being nice to people that treat you like trash.

You can leave comments below and let me know how you feel, or what you think about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FRIED CABBAGE

Kelly Bagnasco shared a photo to the group Slimmer You.

FRIED CABBAGE
Any cabbage lovers? This one is definitely a keeper!!!!
Feel free to use regular or turkey bacon!

Ingredients:
1 lb bacon, finely chopped
1 medium onion, chopped…
2 lbs cabbage, finely diced
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper

Directions:
1.Fry bacon until crisp and well browned.
2. Drain and set aside.
3. Add chopped onion to the bacon grease and stir until translucent.
4. Add cabbage, pepper flakes, salt and pepper, stirring until all cabbage is coated.
5. Add the crumbled bacon bits and cover.
6. Cook over low heat until cabbage is tender.

What Happens Inside Your Stomach When You Eat Instant Noodles?

Instant noodles are a popular go-to lunch or dinner for those who are strapped for time (or cash), like college students. While you probably don’t consider them a health food, you may think they’re not that bad, or, at least, not as bad as eating a burger and fries or a fast-food burrito.

In a first-of-its-kind experiment, however, Dr. Braden Kuo of Massachusetts General Hospital may make you reconsider your love of instant noodles (assuming you have one).

He used a pill-sized camera to see what happens inside your stomach and digestive tract after you eat ramen noodles, one common type of instant noodles. The results were astonishing…

Ramen Noodles Don’t Break Down After Hours of Digestion

In the video above, you can see ramen noodles inside a stomach. Even after two hours, they are remarkably intact, much more so than the homemade ramen noodles, which were used as a comparison. This is concerning for a number of reasons.

For starters, it could be putting a strain on your digestive system, which is forced to work for hours to break down this highly processed food (ironically, most processed food is so devoid of fiber that it gets broken down very quickly, interfering with your blood sugar levels and insulin release).

When food remains in your digestive tract for such a long time, it will also impact nutrient absorption, but, in the case of processed ramen noodles, there isn’t much nutrition to be had. Instead, there is a long list of additives, including the toxic preservative tertiary-butyl hydroquinone (TBHQ).

This additive will likely remain in your stomach along with the seemingly invincible noodles, and no one knows what this extended exposure time may do to your health. Common sense suggests it’s not going to be good…

Five Grams of Noodle Preservative, TBHQ, Is Lethal

TBHQ, a byproduct of the petroleum industry, is often listed as an “antioxidant,” but it’s important to realize it is a synthetic chemical with antioxidant properties– not a natural antioxidant. The chemical prevents oxidation of fats and oils, thereby extending the shelf life of processed foods.

It’s a commonly used ingredient in processed foods of all kinds (including McDonald’s chicken nuggets, Kellogg’s CHEEZ-IT crackers, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Wheat Thins crackers, Teddy Grahams, Red Baron frozen pizza, Taco Bell beans, and much more).

But you can also find it in varnishes, lacquers, and pesticide products, as well as cosmetics and perfumes to reduce the evaporation rate and improve stability.

At its 19th and 21st meetings, the Joint FAO/WHO Expert Committee on Food Additives determined that TBHQ was safe for human consumption at levels of 0-0.5 mg/kg of body weight.1

However, the Codex commission set the maximum allowable limits up to between 100 to as much as 400 mg/kg, depending on the food it’s added to.2(Chewing gum is permitted to contain the highest levels of TBHQ.) In the US, the Food and Drug Administration requires that TBHQ must not exceed 0.02 percent of its oil and fat content.3

So there’s quite a discrepancy in supposedly “safe” limits, but it’s probably best to have little or no exposure to this toxicant, as exposure to five grams can be lethal and, according to A Consumer’s Dictionary of Food Additives, exposure to just one gram of TBHQ can cause:4

  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Ringing in the ears (tinnitus)
  • Delirium
  • Sense of suffocation
  • Collapse

While TBHQ is not suspected to be a persistent toxicant, meaning your body is probably able to eliminate it so that it does not bioaccumulate, if you eat instant noodles your body might be getting prolonged exposures. This is concerning, to say the least. According to the Environmental Working Group (EWG), based on animal studies health hazards associated with TBHQ include:5

  • Liver effects at very low doses
  • Positive mutation results from in vitro tests on mammalian cells
  • Biochemical changes at very low doses
  • Reproductive effects at high doses

Eating Instant Noodles Linked to Metabolic Syndrome

If you’re still considering ramen noodles for lunch, you should know a new study published in the Journal of Nutrition found that women who consumed more instant noodles had a significantly greater risk of metabolic syndrome than those who ate less, regardless of their overall diet or exercise habits.6

Women who ate instant noodles more than twice a week were 68 percent more likely to have metabolic syndrome — a group of symptoms such as central obesity, elevated blood pressure, elevated fasting blood sugar, elevated fasting triglycerides, and low levels of HDL cholesterol.

Having three or more of the symptoms increases your risk of developingdiabetes and cardiovascular disease. Past research also analyzed overall nutrient intake between instant-noodle consumers and non-consumers, and found, as you might suspect, that eating instant noodles contributes little value to a healthy diet.

The instant-noodle consumers had a significantly lower intake of important nutrients like protein, calcium, phosphorus, iron, potassium, vitamin A, niacin, and vitamin C compared with non-consumers.7 Those who ate instant noodles also had an excessive intake of energy, unhealthy fats and sodium (just one package may contain 2,700 milligrams of sodium).8

What Else Is in a Package of Instant Noodles?

Aside from a lot of sodium and the preservative TBHQ, what else is found in a typical serving of instant noodles? Prevent Disease reported:9

“The dried noodle block was originally created by flash frying cooked noodles, and this is still the main method used in Asian countries, though air-dried noodle blocks are favored in Western countries. The main ingredients of the dried noodle are wheat flour, palm oil, and salt. Common ingredients of the flavoring powder are salt, monosodium glutamate, seasoning, and sugar.

…In June 2012, the Korea Food and Drug Administration (KFDA) found Benzopyrene (a cancer-causing substance) in six brands of noodles made by Nong Shim Company Ltd. Although the KFDA said the amounts were minuscule and not harmful, Nong Shim did identify particular batches of noodles with a problem, prompting a recall by October 2012.”

The monosodium glutamate (MSG) in instant noodles is reason enough to avoid them. MSG is an excitotoxin, which means it overexcites your nerve cells to the point of damage or death, causing brain dysfunction and damage to varying degrees — and potentially even triggering or worsening learning disabilities, Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, Lou Gehrig’s disease, and more.

Part of the problem is that free glutamic acid (MSG is approximately 78 percent free glutamic acid) is the same neurotransmitter that your brain, nervous system, eyes, pancreas, and other organs use to initiate certain processes in your body. Not to mention, MSG is also used to fatten up mice for scientific study. Yes, MSG is the perfect obesity drug. If you want to achieve your ideal body weight and health, avoid MSG at all costs.

Return to Whole, Living Foods for Optimal Health

Occasionally eating a package of instant noodles clearly won’t kill you, but when you make a habit of substituting convenience foods for real food, it’s only a matter of time before health problems will likely develop. Instant noodles are a prime example of the types of processed foods you want to avoid as much as possible, as they are virtually guaranteed tomake you sick and fat if you indulge too much (and “too much” may be as little as a couple of times a week).

Processed foods encourage weight gain and chronic disease because they’re high in sugar, fructose, refined carbohydrates, and artificial ingredients, and low in nutrients and fiber. Processed foods are addictive and designed to make you overeat; they also encourage excessive food cravings, leading to weight gain. Eating processed foods also promotes insulin resistance and chronic inflammation, which are hallmarks of most chronic and/or serious diseases. On the other hand, people have thrived on vegetables, meats, eggs, fruits, and other whole foods for centuries, while processed foods were only recently invented.

Ditching processed foods requires that you plan your meals in advance, but if you take it step-by-step as described in mynutrition plan, it’s quite possible, and manageable, to painlessly remove processed foods from your diet. You can try scouting out your local farmer’s markets for in-season produce that is priced to sell, and planning your meals accordingly, but you can also use this same premise with supermarket sales. You can generally plan a week of meals at a time, making sure you have all ingredients necessary on hand, and then do any prep work you can ahead of time so that dinner is easy to prepare if you’re short on time (and you can use leftovers for lunches the next day, so you don’t have to resort to instant noodles).

German Chocolate Pecan Pie Bars


German chocolate cake is one of my childhood loves. My mother used to make it from a cake mix with store-bought frosting. And that was just fine with me.

Having an anti-coconut husband has limited my baking with coconuts over the last several years. In the spirit of “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” I think I enjoy all that German chocolate-y goodness even more because I don’t have it very often.

German Chocolate Pecan Pie Bars are a delicious chocolate twist on traditional pecan pie bars.

In this case, those nostalgic flavors are baked into pecan pie bars. If you’ve never made pecan pie bars, imagine those gooey filling and toasty pecans of pie fame filling a simple crust and baked in a big pan instead of a pie plate. Add to that a little cocoa in the crust, some melty chocolate on top of the crust, and stir in some coconut with the pecans. Now, we’re talking!

German Chocolate Pecan Pie Bars are a wonderfully delicious combination of chocolate crust, more chocolate, coconut, and pecans. A great crowd pleaser!

These are, without a doubt, the best pecan pie bars I’ve ever made. I am usually reluctant to throw out such accolades, but it is completely appropriate in this case. If you are a fan of German chocolate cake, then I think you’ll love them, too. If you don’t like coconut, you can just leave that out and add more pecans or maybe some chocolate chips.

German Chocolate Pecan Pie Bars

Prep Time: 25 minutes

Cook Time: 59 minutes

Yield: 24 bars (about 2-inch square)

German Chocolate Pecan Pie Bars

Ingredients

  • 3 cups pecan halves
  • 1 & 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup confectioners’ sugar
  • 3/4 cup cold butter, cubed
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 1 & 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
  • 3 large eggs
  • 3/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup light corn syrup
  • 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 cup sweetened flaked coconut

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°.

Arrange pecans in a single layer of a shallow baking pan. Bake 8-10 minutes or until lightly toasted. Stir halfway through baking.

Line bottom and sides of a 9″x 13″ baking pan with aluminum foil, leaving an overhang on two short sides. Grease foil.

Whisk together flour, confectioners’ sugar, and cocoa. Add cold butter, and combine with a pastry blender* until mixture resembles coarse meal. Press mixture into bottom and about 3/4-inch up sides of prepared pan.

Bake crust for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and immediately sprinkle chocolate chips evenly over crust. Allow to cool on a wire rack at least 30 minutes.

Place eggs in a large mixing bowl, and beat lightly. Add brown sugar, corn syrup, and melted butter. Whisk together until smooth. Stir in coconut and pecans. Pour evenly over partially baked crust.

Bake 28-34 minutes, or until edges are golden and filling has set. Cool completely on a wire rack. Then, refrigerate for an hour.

Using foil overhang, lift bars from pan and place on a cutting board. Use a sharp knife to cut into bars.

Notes

*You can also mix crust ingredients in a food processor, but I prefer mixing this way.

Recipe adapted from Southern Living, September 2012.

http://www.bakeorbreak.com/2012/10/german-chocolate-pecan-pie-bars/