There are many types of Moms or Mothers. The first type is the biological Mother that actually gives birth to the child. This can be a natural parent or a surrogate Mother. There are Foster Moms and Adopted Mothers. Are then there are Grandmothers and Godmothers. Bet you never really stopped to think about just how many types of Mothers there are. But the fact is that whatever person is in charge of you when you are a minor is the same as a mother figure to you. This does not matter how bad or how good they are, they are still your mother figure. Even if you are currently, or you were in an orphanage, the leader there is your Mother (or Father) figure as the case may be. Even children that are raised with their natural parents could have good or bad parents. What I am talking about in this post is the types of mothers that I grew up around, meaning my own Mother and my friends Mothers, so just keep that in mind when you read this.
Mothers do whatever is necessary to raise their child or children as best as they can in good or bad circumstances. My real Father left when I was an infant, so my Mother had to raise four babies on her own until we went to live with my Grandmother (my Nanny). We couldn’t say Grandmother correctly, and Nanny was all that we could say, so our Grandmother, our Mother’s Mother was Nanny.
When a Mother raises her children on her own, she makes many sacrifices for them. I know that my mother used to count the pieces of lunch meat and sliced cheese before she would make a sandwich for herself. If there was only enough for us four children, then my Mother went without having a sandwich and made sure that we had a sandwich for our lunch. The same was true of any food that we had. My Mother always made sure that us four children ate even if it meant that she didn’t eat. Why? you may ask. It’s just because, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
A Mother will go without sleep if her child, or children are sick. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”. They may be sick with a headache or a cold, but they will still clean up after their children in their children threw up or had diarrhea all over them self. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
A Mother will make sure that her children have clean clothes. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”. A Mother will make sure that her children have shoes and socks, if at all possible and money allows, even if she has to use shoes that are torn or worn. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
A Mother will go without sleep if her child is having a bad dream and needs her to help calm them down. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
A Mother will look under the bed and check the closet, or wherever the child thinks a monster or boggy man may be. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
Even if a Mother had a bad night herself, but her child has a program at school the next day, she will go [if she can get off of work(if she works)]. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
If the child is in danger, a Mother will step in front of the child to keep them from harm. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
I am sure that you have all heard stories about parents showing examples of unheard of strength to remove a heavy object from off of the child to get the child to safety if they are under the object in any way. Classic example, a heavy bookcase falls on the child when he/she was climbing up on it to get an object they wanted and the Mother gets unheard of strength to be able to remove the bookcase from on top of the child and get the child to safety of to medical health, whichever the case may be. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
What I am trying to point out is that a Mother will do anything necessary for her child or children to keep them safe, fed, clean, and healthy. Why?, “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
Try to remember that not all Mothers possess the ability to be able to do all of these things all the time, or maybe not any of the time. But, most Mothers do the best that they can at any given time for their children.
I will give a personal example. Before my Mother and us four children went to live with my Nanny, my Mother always put us children first when it came to eating, doing our laundry, staying up with us when we were sick, even if she didn’t get any sleep herself, and things like that. Then we went to live with my Nanny. We lived with my Nanny until I was 8 years old. That was when my Mother married my first step-father.
After my Mother married my first step-father, almost everything changed. Yes, my Mother still did the things about food, laundry, and whenever we were sick, but she was helpless to keep me safe whenever my step-father got drunk and started abusing me. I always thought that it was because she didn’t love me anymore since she married my step-father. He beat me every time he got drunk. But what I didn’t know, until after I was taken away from the family, was that she was being beaten too. She never let on to us children that she was being hurt too. For whatever the reason, I was the one of us children that he beat every time he got drunk. It wasn’t until he beat me so bad that he almost killed me, and I was taken away from the family, that I stopped being beat by him when he got drunk. I went to live with a friend as a live-in babysitter, never to return to my family again.
It was years later that it came out that my Mother was also being beat up. When my step-father pulled a gun on her and threatened to kill her, she finally left him one day when he was at work. I had gone to visit my Nanny, and my Mother was moving into an apartment close to where my Nanny lived. It was then that I found out that she had been beat also.
After being taken away from the family, I blamed my Mother for not protecting me. It was only after being in therapy for many, many years that I realized that my Mother had done the best that she could when I was growing up. It had to be so so hard for her to keep it a secret for all those many years. Why did she keep it a secret all those years? “That’s Just What Moms Do”.
I have since reconciled with my Mother about those bad years growing up. She divorced my first step-father, and a few years later married a wonderful man. I know that the 31 years that she spent with my second step-father were the best years of her life. I dearly loved him, up until the day he died, in his sleep, in a diabetic coma. My Mother has lived with my sister ever since then, and has spent a month or two with one of my brothers, here and there, ever since then. I miss him so much. I did get to spend time with my Mother last year, while my sister and he husband were on a trip. With all of my medical issues, I hadn’t gotten to see my Mother in a little over 11 years.
The point of this post is that if things have happened in your life that you are blaming on your Mother, please try to forgive her. Everything that happened wrong may not have been totally her fault. Try to get the whole story before you take a chance on carrying your anger, resentment, and hurt for any longer than what you have to. It would literally be a crying shame for your Mother to die and you and her to never have reconciled any differences you two may have. You don’t want to be on your death bed and realize that the two of you never got it straightened out and started talking to each other on a good basis. I know that I sure am glad that I forgave my Mother and we got everything straightened out and now we have a good relationship.
This goes for any relationship that you have that is strained. Think about it. Life is too short to carry on hardships in relationships for years on end.