Much to my shame and guilt I have come to realize that even though I claim not to judge people now, that when I was a teenager and young adult I judged people quite a bit. But that’s not the worst of it. Now that I am a senior citizen, I am discovering more and more each day that I am becoming just like the people that I judged.
Growing up I was taught that I should always wear clothes that matched in color groups, for example reds with different shades of reds, blues with blues, greens with greens, and so on. Not only did the clothes have to match, but the socks and shoes if it was Sunday, and the barrettes and/or head bands. I can remember a lady, that would be at the bus stop every weekday morning when I was waiting to catch the bus to go to school, and she always matched everything that she wore. As if that wasn’t enough, she also wore a big bow, that matched her clothes in color, in her hair to hold up her ponytail. I thought that she must not be right in the head, to wear clothes that matched and a big bow in her hair, because I knew that she was middle aged. And lets face it, only children and adolescents dressed like that. This was always in my thoughts, and I remember it to this day, but I never said anything to her about her clothes.
You may not believe this, but I am in my late sixties, and as such I am considered a senior citizen. Well “shock of all shocks”, as the saying goes, I do the same thing to this day. Only I take it a step further. I have to wear long sleeves and a hat whenever I go out in the sun, and as you may have guessed, my hat and long sleeve shirt or jacket match in color too.
Another way that I have judged in the past has been according to the way a person looks on the outside. Are they fat and bulging everywhere? Do they have “saddle bags” (as I heard several people call the area) pushing out on the upper thigh portion side of their clothes? Do they have what looks like “bags of fat” hanging down on the inside of their upper thighs and from the back and bottom sides of their upper arms? And then my mind would say, “They must not like their body because they sure aren’t taking very good care of it!”
Now that I’m a senior, many of the things that I judged and thought were awful for, whatever person had, it to be that way, I have many of them myself. As an example, I now have those fat bags, that I thought looked so bad, and were the fault of the person, not caring enough about their own body, to take as good a care of it as they could. Not taking good care of your body is indeed one reason for the things I judged about other people. Like I said, I now have many of the same things and do many of the same things that I judged to be wrong or just weird. Besides the “fat bags” I have realized that I too match everything I wear to the best of my ability. My slacks, my tops, things that I put in my hair, and it used to be even my hats had to match in color.
There are many health issues that have medical reasons for them. A person’s thyroid gland could be responsible for weight gains, a B12 deficiency could be responsible for tiredness to the extent that a person doesn’t care if they have on wrinkled clothes or not, and sometimes they don’t even care if they have holes in their clothes.
There are many things that could be responsible for many many different outcomes. It would take days to write them all down. But now that I have and do many of the things that I judged to be wrong, I feel so guilty that there have actually been times that I just wanted to cry.
You may have guessed by now, the reason for this post. The reason is to give an example of the mistakes that I made by judging others and possibly you won’t make the same mistake. There is a dark feeling within, when you realize something like this, that you never even thought about before. So, please stop and think about what you are judging. could there be an underlying medical condition for it? And maybe some inner inspection of yourself may point out that you are doing some of the very things that are making you sad about having done them to others, and up until now you hadn’t given it any thought.