Things To Consider When Deciding On A Mate

This little picture speaks volumes. Talk about a picture being worth a thousand words, this one is it for sure. there have been many, but this is one too. I sure hope that when I meet my next soulmate, he will feel like this about me. One thing is for certain, if I can’t feel like this about him, then he won’t be my soul mate.

Because I Still Know Her

Will you still feel like this when you are old and one of you can’t remember the other one, but one of you does remember the one who doesn’t remember you.

There are many other things to consider also. The picture below points out the main ones very well. If the person that you are going with is possibly going to be the one that you will spend the rest of your life with, then these things should definitely be true.

You don’t have to tell everything about your past on the first few times of seeing each other, especially if you haven’t decided to actually consider yourself to be in a relationship of only dating each other. However, when and if you do decide that you want to be in a relationship with each other, then it will be time to start telling each other about your past. This is especially true if there is something that could make the other one not want to go with you as a couple.

One very important thing to tell each other is about your religious beliefs or lack thereof. If you are going with someone that seems so nice that you think that there is no way for them to not have a religion, you need to find out if it is true or not. As you talk to each other about religious beliefs, the important thing to be able to agree on is that you can accept what each other believes or doesn’t believe.

If by chance you were less morally  than what you are now, in that you did things that you were ashamed of doing, you need to get that out in the open as well. Let’s say that you were a porn star and then decided that that occupation was not what you wanted to do for the rest of your life. That part of your life obviously needs to be talked about. It would be bad if all of a sudden some of the pictures or videos that you made during that period in your life surfaced. What would you do? Would the discovery be enough to make you break up with each other?

If after you have told each other whatever secrets you may have had, and you are OK with them, then you need to be able to accept whatever the new occupation is. You have to be able to stand behind each other and go to bat for them. If you can’t do that for each other, then you don’t need to stay together.

If a decision is made to break up. then you both need to be able to accept it and start over with your life. Yes, it will be hard to start over. However, it is better by far to split early on, rather than to split after years of being together, because you found out something that you didn’t know early on, and for whatever reason you are unable to accept it.

As you are going through the present day living, you have to be able to plan on and support each other’s future. If by chance you don’t like what the other has chosen for their future, then you need to discuss why. In the discussion you need to consider the pros and cons of whatever it is that the other has chosen, as well as to any steps that could make the decision be a favorable one if at that time it is not favorable. For example if the one you are going with is being transferred for their job, and you don’t want to live wherever it is that the other has been transferred. You would obviously need to agree on whether or not you would move anywhere and where would be agreeable and where would not be agreeable. Let’s say the the transfer is to a northern state and you don’t like the cold. That being the case, you don’t feel like you can endure the hard cold winters. You would need to discuss whether or not a transfer can be made to a southern state where the weather is milder. If a transfer to a milder state is possible, are there any southern states where you wouldn’t want to live.

When two people are dating, many times these types of things don’t come up. Both people are just so happy with each other that the two of you think that you could be happy any place where the other goes as long as you are together. These are all very important things to be discussed early on when the relationship starts to get serious.

If you can’t accept what the other person’s occupation is going to be, then you need to break up before there is a marriage or any children. The sooner you break up, the sooner you can get on with your life. If you don’t want to break up, then you will need to get help to find out how you can accept the situation and be happy with it forever.

Marriage isn’t something to go into lightly. The vows are until death do you part, not until you can no longer get along with each other and divorce does you part.

A Good Relationship

There is nobody I know of that doesn’t want to live a happy and fulfilled life. It is imperative that you find someone that you will love for ever and be happy together. Life is too short to live it being unhappy, or being abused and mistreated.

You also need to pay attention to how your other person treats family and friends as well as strangers. If your other friend is mean or uninterested when in a group, that may be a warning sign that you may end up being alienated from your family and friends.

There are some qualities and some weaknesses that you should ask yourself if the one you are with has any of these traits.  The good traits or qualities that I am talking about are, being patient and kind, and does this person rejoice in the truth. Weaknesses are having envy for someone, being jealous of someone, being boastful or arrogant about self and accomplishments, do they insist on having their own way, are they resentful toward others, and do they rejoice at wrong doing? After you have answered these concerns about the other person, ask them about yourself. If any of the answers are troublesome either way, then discuss it with the other person about the answers for both of you. See if you can figure a way to work it out, or if there is no solution, then accept it and break up. As before, the breaking up will be hard, but it is better by far than living with someone and being married to them when they cause you to feel uneasy about anything that has to do with them.

When you are committed to another person, you need to always be willing to lift that person up and encourage them in all that they do.If there is something that they do that you cannot lift them up about and cannot be encouraging to them, then you will always be miserable and may become resentful toward them. Any ill feelings about someone else just festers and gets worse and worse as time goes on. You need to figure what has to be done to remedy the situation. It won’t be easy, but it is necessary.

If you can’t handle it by yourself, then by all means seek professional help. I am not telling you to do anything that I have not had to do myself. There are still times that I have to work on things in my own life, and it is not easy, but it is necessary.